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Thread: How to deal with criticism about my piercing?

  1. #1
    Member Lustix's Avatar
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    Default How to deal with criticism about my piercing?

    Sorry if this isn't the right forum,felt like it was the right one because I'm new to piercings. And sorry if I seem to post a lot here but I just feel really comfortable with the people on this forum. >_<; Anyways...

    To start off,I'm a youngster. Not 12 years old or anything,not THAT young. But I'm still in high-school. I barely got my septum pierced yesterday and I've got quite a few comments and people telling me that my septum piercing is ugly or that they don't "like" it,or that it isn't lady-like at all. Not going to lie,I'm pretty sensitive and It's been hard for me to take criticism. I understand I have to "put up" with it and just take it. But it bothers me so much for some reason. I also know I shouldn't care what others think,but for some reason I just don't like the fact how people can think it's ugly when it's a simple piercing,and it makes ME happy. Don't get me wrong. I love my septum so dearly. I love how it looks on me,and I will not take it out for anyone! But I don't know where to begin on how to accept criticism. And honestly,I know I will probably have to deal with a lot when school starts this Monday from teachers and students. For one, my school isn't accepting. It isn't even a private or public school and they don't accept gay teens. (Not saying I'm gay but just saying my school is not accepting) But that's aside from the fact,as far as I know I haven't seen anyone at my school with a septum piercing so I'm afraid at any comments I'm going to get and people thinking differently of me just because of my piercing. I just never see why piercings or tattoos offend some people and why it bothers them? I know I'm ready for the criticism I'm going to get from many people,but I don't know how to take it. Possibly someone can help me think on a different note about this?
    Current;
    14g Septum
    14g Central Labret
    16g Lobe x4 left ear, Lobe 2x right ear
    14g Inverse Navel
    14g Nipples


    Retired; 0G Lobes
    Left cartilage



    Wanted;
    Industrial
    Anti-eyebrow

    Tragus
    Double Nostrils

  2. #2
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    I'm overly sensitve and it really bothered me.. I loved my piercings but due to pressure from others and worrying what people thought, i removed my medusa, tongue, nose, smiley, nape, ear piercings, and had my microdermals cut out. About 6 months later i found a 'happy medium' and just have a small nose stud, had my tongue re-pierced and 1 or 2 in my ears. Not enough for criticisms but enough to satisfy my piercing love :P
    I think septum is one that any close minded people would be more likely to criticise as it's quite unusual. Personally after seeing your picture i think youre beautiful and the septum would suit you so much (im not a fan of them but on you itd look great). You're obviously a lovely girl, and a piece of jewellery in your nose doesnt change that!!
    Just know that youre doing what makes you happy and that's the most important thing. It's not like youre covered in piercings and you haven't done anything wrong. I can't really give advice on how to deal with the criticism though because i never learnt to deal with it... :( Just know that they do things to make them happy that you may not like, so youre fully entitled to do the same! You don't live to please others - and you can NEVER please everyone, so just concentrate on pleasing yourself and those who are important

  3. #3
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    When people (I include myself, because it is very natural and human to judge and categorize on visuals) see someone dressed a certain way, they apply their own stereotypes to those people. When looking at strangers, this usually helps us decide if that person is the "type" we want to associate with and whether we want to get to know them better. When a person we already know starts exhibiting qualities of a "type" we didn't expect them to, we fear that they are changing and often react by trying to make them stop. Just show your friends that you are still the same person you have always been, and they will grow to accept the fact that you now have some metal in your nose. Remember that peoples' reactions are usually not personal, and are based on their fear of change.

    Perhaps they may never like the look, but you wouldn't let your friends decide how you should dress, would you? On the other hand, awareness that there is a time and place for certain outfits is key, and sometimes (like you have said, with your grandmother) you may simply want to avoid the hassle and keep your septum flipped up. I know I usually wear a tiny, clear ball on my tongue to keep it hidden, just to avoid anyone judging me on stereotypes that are inaccurate. When I get to know someone and feel that they won't react adversely to it, I let them know.

    Good luck, and I hope your friends keep an open mind!
    Current Piercings: Gunned Lobes (now 1.6mm), Tongue, Triple Helix(R), VCH by Elayne Angel
    Next Piercings:
    Going to see my piercer soon, we shall see!
    Want: Tragus (R), Forward Helix
    (R), Pinna (R), Tri-Navel?, Inverse Navel?
    I adore Bioplast.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Arilyna's Avatar
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    Pfft. They're just jealous. Eventually, you'll get used to it. (:
    What I Have:Left ear: Industrial, Rook, Conch, Tragus, Standard lobes
    Right ear: Vertical Industrial, Helix, Standard lobes
    Retired: Second set of lobes, Right Tragus, Right Snug

    What I Want:
    Repierce second set of lobes, tongue web, standard tongue,
    septum, horizontal nipples, hips, among other things...




    "We live in fear and danger of them,
    Their delicate cheeks will turn to rotting flesh;
    One day, women will all become monsters."




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  5. #5
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    Essentially, some people are going to tell you they love them, others will never like them. You can't please everyone, and it sounds kinda selfish, but piercings are about YOU. Ofc there are other compromises, but you can't stop people from passing judgement.
    Remember too though, it's relitavely new-atm it'll be the novelty of it that catches people of guard, once they get used to it they won't even notice it. It gets easier to ignore the bad comments .
    Current: Double nostrils, philtrum, nipple. Various cartilage, 9/16'' lobes.
    Retired: Nipple, navel x4, wrist, nape, MD, tongue web x2, lower lip piercings x4, nostril, helix, lobe piercings, septum, cheek piercings.
    4 tattoos.

    What is my life for and what am I going to do with it? I don't know and I'm afraid. I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member timeforheroes's Avatar
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    What everyone said above! I had my boyfriend's dad tell me how disgusting my stretched ears are, and how he's seen them on guys but it's 'unacceptable for girls'... that was awkward. (Especially when my boyfriend just stood there not saying anything, ahah.) It's difficult developing a thick skin for stuff like that, but maybe the next time someone says 'I don't like it' 'it's not ladylike' etc., immediately reply by saying 'it's a good thing I didn't get it to please you then. I like it. It makes me happy, and that's what matters'! I've had my septum done in the past and had people saying it's not ladylike... I don't know how a piercing can be generalised to make EVERY female seem un-ladylike. I suppose wearing jeans makes me un-ladylike too. Or not spending all day cooking and cleaning. It's not the 1800's any more.

    Good luck, from a fellow youngster (18, I still feel pretty young haha) (:

    hey, stay young, and invincible, because we know just who we are




  7. #7
    Senior Member Drynwhyl's Avatar
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    I definitely know how you feel. I'm not really sensitive or anything, and I usually don't care about people's opinions (especially if they're strangers) but sometimes it just gets to me....I really love my piercings, but other people sometimes make me feel bad about them with their horrible comments. I'm very proud of my ears and they're always visible, but my septum, that's a different story...I wore it out maybe 6x sonce I got it 2+ years ago. I just cannot comprehend why would someone make me feel like a piece of crap because a small fucking chunk of metal/glass in my face. It's not their nose, why do they care?! It makes me rather frustrated, and I just can't bring myself to wear it out all the time. I can't be bothered to deal with all the crap. I know it's there and I love it and I will not take it out.

    The only other (visible) piercings I have are my stretched lobes and stretched conch, but they don't get that much criticism, it's mostly "disguuustiing" and "OWWW" or just plain curiosity. Sometimes even positive comments from strangers.
    I don't see why the septum is so much worse than that really...
    Even my half-shaven hair didn't get insults like the septum.
    I hope you don't get much criticism honey, but if you do it's always easy to flip it up. You'll know it's there.

    I suppose when I get older, people are gonna realise it's rude to say such stuff, I'm only 20 and the young chavvy people in the street are the worst. (it's not uncommon for someone to get beat up just because they're different/pierced)
    Last edited by Drynwhyl; 08-20-2011 at 07:49 PM.

    26mm both lobes, 6mm second lobes, 6mm left inner conch, 8mm septum, 2.4mm inner labia, 1.6mm nipples, 1.2mm nostril
    18x18cm mandala scarification on thigh

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  8. #8
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    I find it worse when it's the people who know me who are mean. My mum recently said "You look f**king stupid, you look like a bull" about my septum. Was gutted. IDGAF about random strangers though.
    Current piercings
    4x L&R lobe (2-00g 1sts *GOAL!*),Conch - Conch Industrial, Left helix, Right daith, Right outer conchx3, Paired nostrils, Centre Lip, Medusa, Tongue, VCH, HCH, 2x inner labia, Septum, double triangle, triangular fossa V.2, tragus V.2, Dahlias

    Current Other mods: 14 hours of tattoos and a 2nd generation magnetic implant

    "It's not infected. Stop touching it."

  9. #9
    Senior Member Drynwhyl's Avatar
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    ^ yeah, definitely. My mum is okay with it, she's only worried because I'm prone to keloids, and about infection and safety...
    But dad, that's another thing...he just HAS TO comment almost every day how ugly my ears are and like "why don't you put a chicken bone through your nose" and similair... I tried talking to him but no avail... That's the only thing that actually hurts me, the other people are mostly just annoying.

    26mm both lobes, 6mm second lobes, 6mm left inner conch, 8mm septum, 2.4mm inner labia, 1.6mm nipples, 1.2mm nostril
    18x18cm mandala scarification on thigh

    tumblr

  10. #10
    Awesome Admin Boo's Avatar
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    Firstly don't be sorry for posting, it's what the forum is for and don't be sorry for feeling the way you do, it's totally natural. I know you're not a kid as such but you're still young and as such you're still working out how to handle different social situations.

    Firstly if your school isn't very "accepting" I'm really surprised they allow piercings! However, what you need to do is have a quick fix solution to this and try not to over analyse it. I'd personally suggest one of two things, either ignore the comments totally and if asked 'why?' just say 'because I wanted it'. Or have a standard reply each time someone says it looks ugly tell them their hair/shoes/necklace/wristband/jeans/t-shirt/earrings etc etc etc look ugly with a big smile on your face. However it just depends on the people, if you think you'll get more hassle by playing them at their own game then just go with the ignoring and being very flippant about it and just smile/laugh at stupid comments, they are after all the ones who are idiots if they are directly insulting you.

    I'm the same with strangers, I actually couldn't give a toss, however there's a couple of situations where I know people and I just don't wear my septum down at all, not because I'm a wuss or anything but more because I know for a fact someone at some point will say something negative and it will piss me off, same goes for my mum and sister, they don't even know I have it. If my mum saw it she would say something horrible and it would get to me so I just avoid that totally. I tend to just wear it down when I go out which is usually to places where people will say nothing or compliment it or around the house. That's the nice thing about a septum piercing really!

    But if you want to wear yours down all the time then just ignore the really bad comments, I also don't think it will be as bad as you're anticipating, or I hope not any way. They'll soon get bored of it no doubt and move onto someone/something else.
    Last edited by Boo; 08-20-2011 at 08:46 PM.
    Piercings: 6 lobes, 2 12mm stretched lobes, 4 helices, 3 tragus, daith, 2 nostril, 2.4mm VCH, 2.4mm daith
    Modifications: 5mm septum punch,
    coinslot ear cartilage removal, 5mm conch punch
    Cosmetic Modifications: Scar removal x7, semi permanent eyebrows, semi permanent eyeliner, semi permanent lipstick, lip dermal filler, botox
    Retired Piercings: 3 nipple, tongue, 4 philtrum, 4 eyebrow, 2 outer labia, VCH, 1 lobe, rook, nostril, 3 nape MDs, 2 wrist MDs, septum, 3 upper conch, conch, 5 helices
    Tattoos: 95 hours
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