Thread: Tell me what you're thinking

  1. #3301
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elelia View Post
    My boyfriends 18th today..
    his present isnt going to arrive in like a week and i have no money at all to get anything in the meantime, my parents bought him a really good necklace thing, his mum got him a watch, his dad gave him 20 and his gran gave him 20
    I know it sounds like a lot he only really got a watch and 40 from his family and hes only going to receive 4 gifts overall.. and that makes me so sad because although he says he doesnt care and stuff and birthdays aren't about that sorta thing I feel a bit bad that he's received so little one of those big birthday dates and it's not like he doesnt have a lot of family.. he has a lot.
    I don't really know why i'm getting so upset about this.. prob the guilt his present hasnt arrived yet or the fact I get quite a bit from my family.. my mum made him a cake though..
    I don't get this, to me that's a lot for a grown person to get for their birthday and if he says it's not a big deal then why can't that be accepted? I asked my sister what she wants for hers and she's said nothing, doesn't expect or want anything and would rather I spend my money elsewhere so I think I'll make her a bracelet with charms I have lying around cos I know she'll like that!

    I'd much rather someone go on a nice walk with me or cook me a lovely meal than give me money, or make him cakes/sweets like sunnyx says. Or why not leave him little notes around the house, maybe even IOU vouchers like for a massage, foot rub, pamper session, even something a bit cheeky

    I find it so disheartening how as a society all these 'celebrations' we have (birthdays, xmas, anniversaries, mothers/father/grandparents days etc) are all heavily based on material/monetary things and the reason and meaning for the celebration is lost in the middle of it all. It makes me really sad.

    Btw this isn't aimed at you Elelia, it's just I've seen a similar comment like this today and it made me think.
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  2. #3302
    Senior Member kitebunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redraven View Post
    I find it so disheartening how as a society all these 'celebrations' we have (birthdays, xmas, anniversaries, mothers/father/grandparents days etc) are all heavily based on material/monetary things and the reason and meaning for the celebration is lost in the middle of it all. It makes me really sad.
    +1

    I hate how commercial celebrations are. Christmas stuff in the shops in october? Easter eggs on sale on boxing day?

    Our family tend to do "token" presents, or home-made stuff. Mum & Dad do better than the rest of us, we (siblings & partners) tend to just post each other cards unless it's a "big" birthday when we'll maybe meet up. Mum & Dad get cards and usually some sort of small present for mothers/fathers day and their birthdays.
    Last christmas we did a secret santa sort of thing, was hugely successful there's so many of us though.

    Valentines day was good this year, me and bf had curry then watched zombie movies who says romance is dead?
    what's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of shiny?

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  3. #3303
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    I'm glad you agree Anne, it's a shame so many are conditioned into thinking presents/money=love.

    I don't celebrate Easter/Xmas/Mothers/Valentines Day etc as such because they're based on christian holidays and I'm not a christian. Easter means nothing to me, xmas we just get the 3 little kids in our family pressies and I went to my mums for a roast beef dinner and drank wine. Mothers day yeah I got her a card as she likes it to be celebrated, I don't ever expect one myself and certainly no gift although I've told my mum she can come here for dinner if she likes one day.

    Ex hubbys family used to drive me mad, every opportunity it was money in a card or a gift I didn't want/need/like. The kids would end up with ridiculous amounts of Easter Eggs that would last for weeks on end (his family is pretty big) I had to get them to stop one year and told them xmas was kids only and small token gifts for b/days if anything at all and sod Easter all the packaging used to drive me crazy. Also it was silly just seeing money in cards pushed back and forth! Sheer madness if you ask me!
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  4. #3304
    Senior Member Elelia's Avatar
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    My mum made him truffles and a cake.. i'm at school atm so i'll see how he is when I get back..

    I know it's quite a bit but I think the way i've been brought up is that my parents get me quite a few cheap and cheerful presents so I can open something and have my "special day" so I think the fact he only actually has 2 presents to open is a bit strange for me to understand.. It's just the different ways of life I suppose.
    I agree with you Hazel about pretty much everything you said; i even said in my orginal comment that I don't really know why i'm getting upset about it.. I think it's just quite hard for me to understand as i've always had a bit to open even if its just a rubber inside.. Plus. a lot of it is to do with the guilt as one of the main reasons he has probably got so little is because he moved in with me and my family when he was 17 so they haven't given him as much as usual. His mum and dad had built up a savings bond to give him when he was 18 but when he moved up with me (from Swindon to Inverness) they cancelled the bond and I think that was a bit mean as it was only like 6-7 months before his 18th. He was also supposed to get some family heirlooms (dont know if thats the right word) and they've cancelled that too.. I just feel it was a bit mean of them to promise him these things from when was young and then suddenly cancel them because he moved out.
    I'm not trying to say they should've showered him with presents but I think it was a bit unfair to stop their promises when some extra money would be so helpful atm... if that makes a bit more sense let me know. It's more the fact they broke their promises instead of him getting so little.


    I do agree with your comment and I understand it wasn't to disrespect me or anything though
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    Some things just shouldnt be written online.
    Ive read a few things this morning that just make me feel awkward reading. Anyone can read that, not just people you know..




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  6. #3306
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    Elelia - His parents sound very strange to promise those things and then not give them to him, very unfair as well when a promise gets broken like that. However he'll be the richer person in life and better for it because he'll have a better understanding that love/friendship etc is far more important in life than money/possessions. But I would understand someone being upset by his situation totally!

    Deffo print off some silly IOU vouchers and leave them lying around for him to find, they'll make him smile and they're functional

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  7. #3307
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    I'm thinking my bf has underestimated (or forgotten) how big 1/2" is :/ I'm only at 11mm just now and he says my tunnels look "industrial" and "shocking". Guess it's cos I don't usually wear tunnels, I prefer plugs. He likes my triple-star eyelets though
    I'm going to have to buy some GWS galaxies to win him over
    what's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of shiny?

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  8. #3308
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    Elelia, I understand how you're feeling. Even though I'm 23, have been living away from home for about 4 years and am engaged, I still get completely spoilt rotten on birthdays and Christmas'. It's only very recently that I realised that not everyone is like that and, if I'm honest, I still struggle to get my head around people receiving so little for their birthday/Christmas.

    It's not that I expect it all and believe that's all those occasions mean, it's just been that way since the day I was born and I don't know different so it still throws me when I'm faced with a family who haven't done things that way.
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    Its super nice and sunny, but i have to stay in and write a report and pack to go home tomorrow :(

    Also why have i got patchy tanned arms.?




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