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Thread: What are "deal breakers" for you in a relationship?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Spooky05's Avatar
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    Default What are "deal breakers" for you in a relationship?

    I got this idea from another forum I used to post on and it was interesting to see people's responses in regards to things that would decrease their attraction to a person. Also, by "relationship", I mean a potential or already existing romantic/intimate relationship.

    My deal breakers (in no particular order):

    - People who have intentionally harmed others. I'm talking about child molesters, wife beaters, and the sort. I won't deal with a violent person or anyone that has a violent nature towards anyone who doesn't deserve it, nor will I deal with anyone who could violate someone.

    - Excessive drinkers. I can definitely tolerate drinking, but if it's to the point of where the person is getting drunk every other day or so or just can't seem to go a day without drinking, that is a definite deal breaker for me.

    - Liars/cheaters/thieves/anyone with questionable or less than desirable character. If someone can't make an effort to be a decent, honest human being, I am not interested in them in any way, whatsoever.

    - Someone who has poor personal hygiene. That is self explanatory.

    - Someone who is addicted to their phone/computer/what have you. I don't want to be with someone whose phone is constanty in their hands (unless it's for business purposes and even that would wear on me).

    - Someone who can't support themselves. No freeloaders. If I wanted to take care of someone in every possible way, I'd have a kid.

    Lucky me, I'm in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend and obviously, he is none of the above!
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  2. #2
    Awesome Admin Boo's Avatar
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    Bolton, Lancs


    Similar thread here:

    Having been in a relationship for over 12 years it's hard for me to think of ones aside from the totally obvious. However sometimes you don't know what you can put up with until it happens to you and to what extent. I'm not a believer of the 'he/she can't change' brigade either. Also some of the above and the obvious I mentioned earlier could come from physical or psychological illness so I wouldn't say I would walk out on someone who needed medical help. Lying is a big one as is manipulation but again, all depends to what extent. /serious waffle
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  3. #3
    Senior Member kitebunny's Avatar
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    I have no patience for men who are afraid to stand up to me.

    There are many many small things that put me off people, like lack of respect (for me and/or others in general), bad personal hygeine, being an angry/agressive drunk, a love of mcdonalds, that noisy hawk-and-spit thing, hairy shoulders, nailbiting .... the list is endless really and it has been known for the small stuff to add up to the point where I've had enough.

    I'm very committed to my bf so if I have a problem with him it gets dealt with there and then, usually in a light-hearted way. He's making more of an effort with his toenails now (he used to just rip them off instead of cutting them?!) after he accidentally cut my foot one night. The scar is an inch long, but it's fading.

    As for one-off instant ditchings...

    Serious betrayal of trust (bit vague sorry)

    Can't think of anything else tbh.
    what's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of shiny?

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  4. #4
    Senior Member SleeeepyHollow's Avatar
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    Umm I can't really think of that much, apart from snoring. I HATE SNORING, with a passion, drives me up the wall. Unfortunately my girlfriend snores like a bulldozer However I'll have been with her a year next thursday. Haha.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Youki-Hi's Avatar
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    South West England



    Well there are the obvious - violence, hurting someone I loved, cheating (although if like we'd been married for years and had kids I'd have to talk to them about it first).

    Not wanting to improve himself. I think life is all about becoming the best you you can be and constantly improving yourself and trying to be better at things or learn new things. If you're stagnant you're going to lose me.

    Not getting on with my friends. There are a few close friends whose opinions matter more to me than my own. If Mike and Laura and Cheryl say "babe, don't do it" then I won't.

    One that is apparantly a dealbreaker is laziness. There's a difference between leaving a few clothes on the floor and that bone idle "I'm going to play on the computer all day and not bother doing anything else even though there's stuff I could do." My current boyfriend is guilty of this and if he doesn't pull his socks up then that's it, au reviour darling.

    Oh and I think smoking might be one.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member sweetpea's Avatar
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    Bromsgrove, UK


    Not being able to be independant. I hate people who rely on others far too much.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member .Only.Streetlights.'s Avatar
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    Gravesend, Kent


    People who can't make a decision without the input of their parents, family or friends.

    Bigotry and closed minded behaviour. We're all guilty of it now and again but it's something I will call anyone up on and can't put up with very much.

    Dishonesty. I could have a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship - but I need to know what I'm in.
    Queen C aka Cazaclysmic

    I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. -Stephen Roberts

  8. #8


    Dishonesty. I want to know if I'm in an open relationship or not.

    Bad Hygiene - speaks for itself.

    Nothing to talk about (I love talking about some random stuff here and there from politics, to sci-fi, animals to ufos whatever really).

    And other 'normal' reasons (violence - if he hits me once I'll go away, child abuse - wtf really, animal abuse - same).

    Current piercings:
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  9. #9


    The obvious things such as cheating, dishonesty and things like that.
    I'd find it very hard to be with anybody who smokes, or regularly drinks. I hate the thought of smoking, and I only ever drink when I go out which is about once a month.
    I couldn't imagine being with anybody who doesn't have any sort of direction or strong input into their own life. I don't like people who "plod along", so to say. They must have ideas and be excited about their future.

  10. #10


    For me deal breakers are the one promise you something but don't keep it.

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