Thread: The Mental Health Thread

  1. #2111
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    I know where you are as I've been there and it's not as simple as saying don't give up. It's so hard and my words aren't going to fix it for you. I don't know your situation but therapy may help, and if you can't get therapy writing down your feelings can be the most therapeutic thing going. Just remember, I don't know you but I know you're incredible, the fact you feel like this and you're still here says it all. Try and keep going, try and do everything you can. We all love you x


  2. #2112

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    Paranoid: High
    Schizoid: Moderate
    Schizotypal: Very High
    Antisocial: Moderate
    Borderline: Very High
    Histrionic: Moderate
    Narcissistic: Moderate
    Avoidant: Very High
    Dependent: High
    Obsessive-Compulsive: Very High

    I'm on my third week of 50mg Setraline, going up to 100mg next week.
    It seems to be helping me with my migraines and brain jolts, and I've been sleeping better. It's weird, it makes me feel tired and lethargic, but it has stopped thoughts constantly rushing through my mind. It's slowed down my mind and my body, I guess...
    However, it really increased my anxiety levels! I think they're slowing going down, though. (I am taking this medication for both depression and anxiety)

    I can kinda understand why I'd get very high for obsessive compulsive, I had a load of weird behaviours as a kid. I used to stand in the cupboard for hours arranging the DVDs and CDs into the order they were bought. If someone changed them round, I'd get angry. I didn't like other people using my books because I got very upset if someone creased the cover or the spine, and again my books had to stay in the order they were bought. If a book got a crease in the spine, it had to be put out of sight and I'd plan on getting a replacement copy. I didn't like using stationery either, it was all stored away in drawers, in same perfect condition it was bought in. When I was bought sweets, I only ate a tiny bit of them, arranged the wrapper to make it look new/unopened, and store them in a drawer. I used to spend a lot of time checking my drawers and shelves, making sure everything was pristine. The only behaviours I still have are getting angry when someone drops a piece of food on the dinner table, or if the table mats aren't straight, or if certain doors or cabinets aren't shut properly. Having said that, my childhood bookcase has remained untouched because none of my family dare touch it. I still have a tendency to keep things in 'orders' but having lived with a family that are pretty messy I suppose I've become a bit more relaxed about it.

    I think the whole 'obsessive' thing explains my own dysmorphia problems, at 12 years old I was about 4.5 stone and quite tall for my age, my entire childhood up to the age of 13 I used to eat very little, but got some kind of pride when friends or family said I was skinny and didn't eat very much. When I got a horse, however, that changed, because he turned out to be a bit of a problem horse, throwing me off a lot, and my mum used to tell me that no way was I strong enough to handle him, so I started eating more because she was threatening to sell him if I couldn't ride him.

    When I was 16 and started A Levels, though, I just seem to go through a total panic about my appearance and weight. I realised I was fat. I was 5ft8 and weighed 10 stone. Cue the beginning of sixth form, I was eating one meal a day and exercising for over two hours, every day, even on the days when I had a five hour physical shift in a supermarket after school. I started having a few days off school here and there because I was starting to feel ill, and suddenly I became extremely anxious about what my friends were saying about me. I thought they hated me. My mum moved me into a different class in a desperate bid to get me back to school, which I'm still not sure was the best idea, but I still found things very difficult because I thought I was fat, and this triggered my anxiety because I thought other people were judging me for being fat. I did have therapy throughout sixth form, I only lost a stone in weight which I have now regained (which I am not happy about but I'm trying to deal with it). Hatred for myself, working part time, school, family issues all made me feel very, very down. Unfortunately, because I was only 17 at the time I was not allowed medication but had some rubbish child therapy, which, uh, I guess was vaguely helpful, but my problems did not go away. I would say, now, three years later, I am *just* getting over my dysmorphia. I say this, because I have put on weight and not completely freaked out about it, although I'm not happy about it. My weight has fluctuated constantly over the last three years so I have now idea what I'm naturally supposed to look like, my eating habits changed from eating nothing for days on end, to binge eating and attempting to be sick, to (what I hope is the final phase, that is hopefully nearing its end) just plain binge eating.

    I returned to the doctors three weeks ago because my first year at Uni went terribly, I ended up getting so anxious I hid in my room all day and imagined people were knocking on my door or shouting my name... I ate very little the first few weeks, and then started eating crap which has made me gain a lot of weight. The first time I did this, I hurt myself for it. I wasn't sleeping at night, at all. Sometimes I went two days without any sleep. I just couldn't focus on my work anymore, so I came home early and after a few weeks I went to the doctors.

    I really could go on forever. Sometimes when I'm walking alone, I'll imagine people are shouting me and I'll panic. Sometimes I'll a dark shape cross my vision. When I used to go to work, I used to suddenly feel faint, and sometimes I'd imagine the manager was yelling my name, furiously, like I was in trouble, from somewhere in the supermarket. I have passed out quite a few times in my teen years but mostly I know how to deal with it, and stop myself from fainting when I feel like I'm going to.
    Sorry for the massive post, I just saw this thread and thought I could relate to it, and I never speak to anyone else about these things... I like the anonymity of this site
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  3. #2113
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    I'm in a horrible place atm, I feel like I can't cope with anything just as I have a TON of things coming up that I REALLY need to be on the ball with. Not to mention I am working my arse off to raise as much money as I can because this year is crippling me financially.
    Piercings: 6 lobes, 2 12mm stretched lobes, 4 helices, 3 tragus, daith, 2 nostril, 2.4mm VCH, 2.4mm daith
    Modifications: 5mm septum punch,
    coinslot ear cartilage removal, 5mm conch punch
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    Retired Piercings: 3 nipple, tongue, 4 philtrum, 4 eyebrow, 2 outer labia, VCH, 1 lobe, rook, nostril, 3 nape MDs, 2 wrist MDs, septum, 3 upper conch, conch, 5 helices
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  4. #2114
    Senior Member sweetpea's Avatar
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    I've not been this low in a while.

    Things just aren't going well at the minute. Dad is back in hospital and I just want to give up.

    I really wish I didn't decide I wanted this life when I had the choice.
    Hi, I'm Philly

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  5. #2115
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    me and my doctor agreed it's no longer really necessary for me to be medicated for anxiety.

    A lot of the stresses I had in April are gone - I don't have uni exams to worry about, I'm no longer living in a horrible environment, I'm moving in with someone who I know 100% I can live with, among others.

    I still have to deal with a very sick girlfriend and a very sick nana but thats a lot easier now i've got nothing else (Really) to deal with.

    I've always got the option of being re-medicated come september and i'm okay with that but for now I'm okay with everything. I'm still having panic attacks but I know how to cope with them, and the people around me know what I need to do in order to calm down.

    so yeah, i'm still sick but I'm feeling a lot better than I was 3 months ago
    You sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.

    Ginny Weasley

    MERCI POUR LE VENIN



  6. #2116
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    Still not good, no idea why, nothing bad is going on as such and best of all I have a GP appt on Thursday where she was going to see about getting me off meds or reduced. That will be fun. After 20 years of this it just doesn't get any easier.
    Piercings: 6 lobes, 2 12mm stretched lobes, 4 helices, 3 tragus, daith, 2 nostril, 2.4mm VCH, 2.4mm daith
    Modifications: 5mm septum punch,
    coinslot ear cartilage removal, 5mm conch punch
    Cosmetic Modifications: Scar removal x7, semi permanent eyebrows, semi permanent eyeliner, semi permanent lipstick, lip dermal filler, botox
    Retired Piercings: 3 nipple, tongue, 4 philtrum, 4 eyebrow, 2 outer labia, VCH, 1 lobe, rook, nostril, 3 nape MDs, 2 wrist MDs, septum, 3 upper conch, conch, 5 helices
    Tattoos: 95 hours
    ***** HOW TO UP YOUR POST COUNT & RULES - ASK A QUESTION - BUMP INFORMATION - STRETCHING INFO & QUESTIONS*****
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  7. #2117
    Senior Member Jester's Avatar
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    I feel w**k more often than not at the moment.

    I have zero motivation, zero drive. I just want to give up; I truly do. I think, in many ways, I have. Which is horrifying because I am a fighter, I always take on every challenge thrown my way.

    I don't know what to do any more. I don't know how to do the things I used to thrive on.

    I have broken.
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  8. #2118
    Senior Member sweetpea's Avatar
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    Trigger warning.

    I'm so ashamed of myself, I hadn't cut in nearly 3 years but today everything got on top of me and I cracked.
    Hi, I'm Philly

    Current;

    L industrial | L rook | L conch | R tragus | R helix | R daith | 4 x standard lobe | 2 x 6mm lobe | L nostril | Septum |

    Retired;
    L nipple | Navel |

    Find me;
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  9. #2119
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea View Post
    Trigger warning.

    I'm so ashamed of myself, I hadn't cut in nearly 3 years but today everything got on top of me and I cracked.
    Big hugs hun, I SH last week after a long time of not doing so.

    Saw GP today, she doesn't want to up meds as I'd need to have an ECG regularly, she doesn't want to change them but I've been given sleeping tablets to see if better sleep puts me in a better mood/life pattern.
    Piercings: 6 lobes, 2 12mm stretched lobes, 4 helices, 3 tragus, daith, 2 nostril, 2.4mm VCH, 2.4mm daith
    Modifications: 5mm septum punch,
    coinslot ear cartilage removal, 5mm conch punch
    Cosmetic Modifications: Scar removal x7, semi permanent eyebrows, semi permanent eyeliner, semi permanent lipstick, lip dermal filler, botox
    Retired Piercings: 3 nipple, tongue, 4 philtrum, 4 eyebrow, 2 outer labia, VCH, 1 lobe, rook, nostril, 3 nape MDs, 2 wrist MDs, septum, 3 upper conch, conch, 5 helices
    Tattoos: 95 hours
    ***** HOW TO UP YOUR POST COUNT & RULES - ASK A QUESTION - BUMP INFORMATION - STRETCHING INFO & QUESTIONS*****
    >>>>>>>>>>New Members - Please do not PM me with questions about your piercing, this is what the forum is for, thank you<<<<<<<<<<



  10. #2120
    Senior Member MxSherwood89's Avatar
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    Currently trying to sell my bike, have someone coming to look at it in about half an hour. ANXIETY OVERLOAD.
    I'm Sam Come & say hi!
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    Nipple Cross. Tongue. Conch. Nostrils. 10mm Lobes. Nipple.

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