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Thread: Kids v No Kids

  1. #1431
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    At the moment, I don't want kids. They actually terrify me. I think I'll probably change my mind in the future.

  2. #1432
    Senior Member beautiful-disaster's Avatar
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    I love having kids 99% of the time... there is that 1% where you could just curl up in a dark room for 5mins peace haha but i wouldn't have it any other way.

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    Not for forcing personal ambitions/goals onto my kids at all. we're all for do what you like in this house.
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  3. #1433
    Senior Member Sally Stitch's Avatar
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    Being around very small babies makes me nervous. If someone asks me to hold one I'm terrified. They're so small and weird and I'm scared they'll cry/puke/do something unexpected and I'll drop them.
    After about 6 months though, when they're more alert and more like tiny people (as opposed to little alien creatures) I love them. I find them adorable. There is nothing more heart warming to me than a baby laughing. And then I love toddlers even more, they're just so cute and funny.

    I want some kids of my own one day, but it's not the right time for me. So for now I'm hoping one of my sisters gets knocked up instead :P
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  4. #1434
    Senior Member Firedrake's Avatar
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    I do want children, but I don't know why. I don't know what I would want one for and yet my brain goes all mushy and jealous and "why can't I have one of those" when I see babies.
    I have decided now is a bad time, I have other goals and stresses to deal with first. Also the way my OH deals with his animals has made me change my mind about him being a parent because I want someone that would work WITH me rather than undermine every rule I put in place. Right now I can't even get him to make his dogs stay out of the kitchen consistently, or not razz them up right before I try to put their leads on for a walk, because I totally wanted to try and put a leash on a dog that was running around like an idiot barking and panting and carrying on.
    He's getting better but we have a ways to go until I would trust him with teaching a child patience and self discipline, and I don't need a small baby, 4 cats, 3 dogs and a large man-child to take care of at 24!
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  5. #1435
    Senior Member beautiful-disaster's Avatar
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    minus the fur babies, i felt like i had a newborn and a man-child when we had our first haha you're so totally right about being on the same page though. Once you're reading from the same page it is SO much easier. luckily we fell onto the same page reading very early on and it's been good since


    i get all other aspects though; why people wait until they're older, why people choose to have kids young or even those who don't choose to have kids at all.
    What I have
    Left ear: 18mm lobe , 1.6mm lobe , daith , conch
    Right ear: 18mm lobe , 1.6mm lobe , tragus , scaffold , rook
    monroe
    tongue
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    Septum

    an abundance of Inkies

    Contemplating..

    double nostrils, nipple (L), orbital, cleavage MD's, christina


    call me Manda
    ^3^


  6. #1436
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    Having been married for almost 11 years and in the relationship for 16 we are at the point where having children is expected. Neither of us want children and are happy as we are, but that doesn't stop others piling on pressure.
    I am now being asked if there are reasons why we haven't had children, like aren't you capable? It is truly heartbreaking when someone assumes this, not because it's true, imagine though if I couldn't? People are just bloody rude.
    also, with respect to people who do have children, the amount of people who believe you don't know what real love feels like until you have children, give me a break...

  7. #1437
    Senior Member beautiful-disaster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahbone View Post
    Having been married for almost 11 years and in the relationship for 16 we are at the point where having children is expected. Neither of us want children and are happy as we are, but that doesn't stop others piling on pressure.
    I am now being asked if there are reasons why we haven't had children, like aren't you capable? It is truly heartbreaking when someone assumes this, not because it's true, imagine though if I couldn't? People are just bloody rude.
    also, with respect to people who do have children, the amount of people who believe you don't know what real love feels like until you have children, give me a break...
    The asking does hurt - especially when there are problems out of your control and people don't understand and stick their oar in.

    we've been trying for over a year now for our 3rd and recently i found out that if i fall pregnant before having surgery it could kill me... It doesn't stop people saying "oh, are you still not pregnant yet?!" or "think yourself lucky you've got one of each" that one annoys me the most. I know i am extremely lucky to have 2 happy, healthy kids (and one boy, one girl) but at the same time, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less when your heart wants and longs for one thing and your body has basically said "no"

    sorry, off on a tangent there
    What I have
    Left ear: 18mm lobe , 1.6mm lobe , daith , conch
    Right ear: 18mm lobe , 1.6mm lobe , tragus , scaffold , rook
    monroe
    tongue
    right nipple
    VCH
    Septum

    an abundance of Inkies

    Contemplating..

    double nostrils, nipple (L), orbital, cleavage MD's, christina


    call me Manda
    ^3^


  8. #1438
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    Quote Originally Posted by beautiful-disaster View Post
    The asking does hurt - especially when there are problems out of your control and people don't understand and stick their oar in.

    we've been trying for over a year now for our 3rd and recently i found out that if i fall pregnant before having surgery it could kill me... It doesn't stop people saying "oh, are you still not pregnant yet?!" or "think yourself lucky you've got one of each" that one annoys me the most. I know i am extremely lucky to have 2 happy, healthy kids (and one boy, one girl) but at the same time, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less when your heart wants and longs for one thing and your body has basically said "no"

    sorry, off on a tangent there
    Not off tangent at all. I want what other people want to make them happy. I really hope you can have the surgery you need and then fall very quickly

  9. #1439
    Awesome Admin Boo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahbone View Post
    Having been married for almost 11 years and in the relationship for 16 we are at the point where having children is expected. Neither of us want children and are happy as we are, but that doesn't stop others piling on pressure.
    I am now being asked if there are reasons why we haven't had children, like aren't you capable? It is truly heartbreaking when someone assumes this, not because it's true, imagine though if I couldn't? People are just bloody rude.
    also, with respect to people who do have children, the amount of people who believe you don't know what real love feels like until you have children, give me a break...
    It's just disgusting, why do people think they have any right to say anything on your life choices regarding children. I am sick to death of people thinking they own women's bodies and automatically decide that we're just baby making machines.

    Quote Originally Posted by beautiful-disaster View Post
    The asking does hurt - especially when there are problems out of your control and people don't understand and stick their oar in.

    we've been trying for over a year now for our 3rd and recently i found out that if i fall pregnant before having surgery it could kill me... It doesn't stop people saying "oh, are you still not pregnant yet?!" or "think yourself lucky you've got one of each" that one annoys me the most. I know i am extremely lucky to have 2 happy, healthy kids (and one boy, one girl) but at the same time, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less when your heart wants and longs for one thing and your body has basically said "no"

    sorry, off on a tangent there
    People are cruel, a friend of mine was reaching 40 and had been married since she was 20, people at work kept hinting at why and one day she just broke down in tears and asked me to speak to them. She physically couldn't have kids, I had to explain it to them, they had nothing to say after that.

    We all get it sadly, people with no kids (when are you having one?), people with 1 kid (it's cruel to only have 1!), people with only girls (when are you trying for a boy?), people with only boys (when are you trying for a girl?), people with more than 2 (why do you have so many?). Could go on all day, we get judged all the time, I've had people tell me in a round-a-bout way that I'm cruel for stopping at 1. I'm around 80% sure I don't want more and have lots of reasons why that are mainly based on the health of my family (my bf and son both have disabilities). I'm not going to jeopardise that.
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  10. #1440
    Senior Member MxSherwood89's Avatar
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    My family were going on at us about having a baby when we'd been together for less than 2 years. It's now been over 7 years and we're still no closer to having any - Just because they all had kids really quickly doesn't mean I'm going to do the same!

    Being told "I can't have any more so you have to have one" was probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I'm never going to let that one go!
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