Kids v No Kids

[Emzyminx]

Or her feelings could stay the same...

thankyou i honestly can't see my feelings changing, i'm even terrified of dolls ffs haha

[Boo]

thankyou i honestly can't see my feelings changing, i'm even terrified of dolls ffs haha

You're welcome, it must drive you crazy to hear people say you'll change your mind.

You'll never hear someone telling a young lass in her 20's who wants kids that she might change her mind and not ​want them later. Why do it the other way around?

[Emzyminx]

exactly!it does get so annoying, people just assume that as i'm still relatively young, i will change my mind. no. it's something i know i dont want, i'm old enough to know my mind!!

[Fi_Fi_B]

I never said her feeling will change, because I don't know her I was just stating that they have done for many people

[Boo]

I never said her feeling will change, because I don't know her I was just stating that they have done for many people

No one said you said they will change. I just feel for young girls who seem to get that said to the them over and over again even from people who don't know them. Yet I'm yet to see a single person tell someone else who does want kids that they may change their minds.

It goes to show that as a society women are somewhat expected in some capacity to desire/carry children. To say they don't want them is very often questioned, to say they want them is seen as the norm.

[Kaitey (:]

No one said you said they will change. I just feel for young girls who seem to get that said to the them over and over again even from people who don't know them. Yet I'm yet to see a single person tell someone else who does want kids that they may change their minds.

It goes to show that as a society women are somewhat expected in some capacity to desire/carry children. To say they don't want them is very often questioned, to say they want them is seen as the norm.

I agree that this happens and it shouldn't but most of my female friends/acquaintances are in the "don't want kids" camp so I find I get more of a hard time for saying I do want them! It pains me but a lot of my friends make me feel like I can't openly say I want to have kids.
It's such a tricky and personal subject though that it annoys me to no end that anyone feels they have the right or ability to comment on anyone's wants or circumstances.

I'm in no way saying anyone here has done that, I'm just venting!

[Boo]

...it annoys me to no end that anyone feels they have the right or ability to comment on anyone's wants or circumstances.

Agreed, especially on something so personal as you say. I was a site helper on a parenting/pre parenting/conception forum and we did a survey involving 1000's of women asking if they had been questioned on wanting kids, not wanting kids of both and tbh the not wanting crowd was astronomically higher than the not wanting. From what I can remember there was an age thing on it as well like 20-30 because before 20 you can be questioned on money/maturity easily and say over 40 you can be questioned on health/stability etc.

But as you say people get told they could change their mind on anything to do with kids, either wanting them, wanting 1, wanting 10, wanting none, wanting to adopt, surrogate and so on. But why people feel the need to point it out is interesting and again based on society and even group pressure as you say Kaitey, in your social circle having a child isn't seemingly the norm so your decision to consider it is questioned.

Suppose it's crowd mentality, upbringing, media etc. I've only ever been questioned for saying there's a strong chance I'll only have 1 child. Other than that not much else thank goodness! I have seen so sooo many people questioned and badgered into having kids when they've said they didn't want any. A lady I worked with in her late 40's never wanted kids from as early as she could remember and never had them and her mum was still going on about it to her!!!

It's all very interesting how people view it really.

[Kaitey (:]

It's so odd, like people wouldn't just ask your bank balance, or weight or why you're in a wheelchair.
It's always baffled me why it seems to be an open topic, it's like people are obsessed with other people's bodies and potential children, from your want (or lack of) children or how many children you want/have to whether you can/should have an abortion.

[IckleNatStar]

The one that annoys me most is "oh you'll change your mind when you meet the right man". Really? Cos my ideal man doesn't want kids either

[soph_17]

^Me too. I genuinely nearly hit the roof when someone asked me what I planned to do after my degree-'Meet the right man, settle down and have children?' Yep, that's why i'm working so hard to get a degree, so I can then not have a career at all. The way it was worded really annoyed me, this person didn't mean it so badly, but it was literally like he hadn't even considered the option I might want a career instead, or at least before children.