Kids v No Kids

[zahzah]

I love kids, and cute babies and baby animals make me mad broody, but I'm not planning on having any. Maybe if I got to a point in life where I feel everything is complete, I've done all I can for myself, then I'll adopt. I love the idea of having identical twins though.

[oregoncowboy]

I have three kids and that's enough for me!

[Starry-night]

Hazel, I totally get what your saying. My mum had me when she was 44 (yay for accidents lol) and she worried so much about the risk of disablity/down syndrome etc. But I was born without any of these, my birth was really quick and my mum was out of hospital after 24 hours.

Obviously though birth defects etc are more common in older women, but I'm proof that it's not always like that!

[Boo]

Hazel, I totally get what your saying. My mum had me when she was 44 (yay for accidents lol) and she worried so much about the risk of disablity/down syndrome etc. But I was born without any of these, my birth was really quick and my mum was out of hospital after 24 hours.

Obviously though birth defects etc are more common in older women, but I'm proof that it's not always like that!

Tbh it's merely 1 factor. I am in no financial position either to bring a child into the world, our economy is worrying and as I would have a teenager with ASD to deal with at the same time I personally, for me, think it could put a lot of strain on me, my partner and my children to the point where the family could suffer as a result.

The fact is that it is a proven that problems can and do increase the older you are, I'm not saying it will happen, I am merely saying the risk is increased and I personally am taking that increased risk into consideration. And as I already have a child I personally would factor in that risk ever larger as they may end up looking after me/their sibling as a result when they are older.

Not to mention the fact I could have twins or triplets....then I'd be in not just financial crisis but a housing crisis as well which could uproot my entire life. And I'm not sure I or my partner are emotionally ready to have a child/ren.

I don't think people who have babies past their 40's or whatever are bad people, that's their decision, anyone has the right to have or not have a child. I am more than aware that there are several people out there who have older mothers who are absolutely fine, I know quite a few of them.

I'm so glad everything went well for you and your mum! It wasn't as straightforward for me and my son.

I'm proof that eating badly, smoking heavily and drinking all the way through pregnancy doesn't always cause birth defects.

[quotidianaubergine]

I'm proof that eating badly, smoking heavily and drinking all the way through pregnancy doesn't always cause birth defects.

Same!!



I'm actually warming to the idea of kids. I've always liked kids in general, but it's the idea of pregnancy specifically that terrifies me. I've got a legitimate phobia of it! I think if I wanted to start a family really badly, for the wellbeing of the pregnancy, I would have to seek counselling beforehand!

[Bigspanners]

I was 33 and the wife was 35 when we had our little girl, we was thinking of another but apparently my wife says she already has 2 children. I always wanted a child but never found anyone who I wanted a child with until my wife.

[Fi_Fi_B]

I had just turned 32 when I had my first and 36 when I had my second. I am now 40 and really wanted another but after losing my job last year and hubby not really wanting anymore at 45 I have to fight the urge, I think that's why I have decided to get some extra piercings, it's a change in my life that I will have to accept.

[Emzyminx]

i love kids, but have never ever wanted them myself, i just..dont have a maternal instinct, even though everyone says i'm brilliant with kids. my best friend is the same age as me, and is married with 3 young boys aged 3, almost 2, and 1. i love them to bits and would do anything for them but they dont make me broody!

also, my OH has 3 daughters, 15 yr old twins, and a 3 year old, and i get on really well with all of them, especially the youngest who has really taken to me, but he doesn't want anymore, and when we first got together he used to worry that one day i will want kids (he's 40, i'm 22), it took alot of assuring him, and him talking to my friends/family who confirmed that i have NEVER wanted children!

On another note, when i was born i weighed 11lb 9, and the thought of having a kid that weighs as much as i did physically makes me wince haha

[Fi_Fi_B]

Emzyminx you are still only 22, feelings can change in 10-15 years, I don't think I wanted kids at 22, I had just started going out and enjoying myself after being in a relationship for 5 years. Met someone else 6 years later got a house then 2 years later got married then I wanted kids.

[Boo]

Emzyminx you are still only 22, feelings can change in 10-15 years, I don't think I wanted kids at 22, I had just started going out and enjoying myself after being in a relationship for 5 years. Met someone else 6 years later got a house then 2 years later got married then I wanted kids.

Or her feelings could stay the same...