Thread: Singles thread

  1. #20881
    Senior Member Dudette1's Avatar
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    Weird situations fail!

    I recently got a new job and went out for leaving drinks a few weeks ago now some colleagues from the unit I worked in, along with some of the boys from IT (I worked in the kitchen)
    Myself and one of the ladies from my kitchen, Jo, have always had a laugh with the boys as they come to us for lunch, all but one of them, Ciaran. He started off seeming really shy and would just about say hello, then as he got to know us better he started chatting more. I'd always thought he was quite hot but as I had a boyfriend thought nothing of it.

    Anyway, we went out for these leaving drinks and in the end there were only 4 of us left, me, Jo, this guy Ciaran and one of the others from IT.
    Ciaran is about 6ft 5, and is a wrestler so he's pretty muscly. So imagine our surprise when he got twice as drunk as the rest of us in half the time. I think the only explanation is he's on a really strict diet and so hardly ever drinks.
    He took this opportunity to start telling me how much he likes me and how he never said anything because I had a boyfriend and he's not like that, etc.

    Due to him being drunk and the fact that he has a very sarcastic tone of voice I didn't take him seriously at all.

    However, we started texting after and he came round to my flat to see me the night before I moved out, next morning he didn't seem to want to leave despite having to go to training, and he ended up being 2 hours late haha. Before he left we arranged to go to the cinema a couple of days later, and I saw him Friday just gone as well because he was supposed to have a show but it got cancelled at the last minute.
    So myself and two of the others from his work (who I know too obviously) went to the pub and he met us there.

    He was being openly affectionate with me in front of his friends and stuff, as they obviously know whats going on, and he's like that whether we're alone or not, drunk or sober so I'd like to think he probably does like me.

    It's just horrible because I can't recall ever being in a situation where I didn't know where something was headed if that makes sense. Like, I'm not looking for a relationship at all, but it feels really unsettling because it's not just about sex, we've been out a few times with nothing happening and it's just ARGH because we just haven't talked about it. Like I joked with him and said 'ahh you're just using me for sex' (even though we hadn't even done it this night) and he was like 'no, I wouldn't be like this with you if that were the case' - he was basically wrapped around me at that point. And there have been a few conversations like that, where he says 'I wouldn't be doing this that or the other if I didn't like you' and he was saying about how he's really comfortable around me etc. Meeehhhhh

    /essay, just needed a little vent there.
    Alex


    Piercings: Ears x 7 various, Tongue, Septum, Navel, Inverse Navel, VCH, Microdermal on wrist, 2 Microdermals on upper back


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  2. #20882
    Scarred_pierced
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    Quote Originally Posted by dudette1 View Post
    weird situations fail!

    I recently got a new job and went out for leaving drinks a few weeks ago now some colleagues from the unit i worked in, along with some of the boys from it (i worked in the kitchen)
    myself and one of the ladies from my kitchen, jo, have always had a laugh with the boys as they come to us for lunch, all but one of them, ciaran. He started off seeming really shy and would just about say hello, then as he got to know us better he started chatting more. I'd always thought he was quite hot but as i had a boyfriend thought nothing of it.

    Anyway, we went out for these leaving drinks and in the end there were only 4 of us left, me, jo, this guy ciaran and one of the others from it.
    Ciaran is about 6ft 5, and is a wrestler so he's pretty muscly. So imagine our surprise when he got twice as drunk as the rest of us in half the time. I think the only explanation is he's on a really strict diet and so hardly ever drinks.
    He took this opportunity to start telling me how much he likes me and how he never said anything because i had a boyfriend and he's not like that, etc.

    Due to him being drunk and the fact that he has a very sarcastic tone of voice i didn't take him seriously at all.

    however, we started texting after and he came round to my flat to see me the night before i moved out, next morning he didn't seem to want to leave despite having to go to training, and he ended up being 2 hours late haha. Before he left we arranged to go to the cinema a couple of days later, and i saw him friday just gone as well because he was supposed to have a show but it got cancelled at the last minute.
    So myself and two of the others from his work (who i know too obviously) went to the pub and he met us there.

    he was being openly affectionate with me in front of his friends and stuff, as they obviously know whats going on, and he's like that whether we're alone or not, drunk or sober so i'd like to think he probably does like me.

    It's just horrible because i can't recall ever being in a situation where i didn't know where something was headed if that makes sense. Like, i'm not looking for a relationship at all, but it feels really unsettling because it's not just about sex, we've been out a few times with nothing happening and it's just argh because we just haven't talked about it. Like i joked with him and said 'ahh you're just using me for sex' (even though we hadn't even done it this night) and he was like 'no, i wouldn't be like this with you if that were the case' - he was basically wrapped around me at that point. And there have been a few conversations like that, where he says 'i wouldn't be doing this that or the other if i didn't like you' and he was saying about how he's really comfortable around me etc. Meeehhhhh

    /essay, just needed a little vent there.
    erm.....forgot to mention that last week!!!!!

    Alex you seriously need to slow down, and I know this is why you havnt told me all this because of the fact you know what I'll say. When was the last time you were just you? You have non stop been in long term over powering relationships which you let take over your life.
    Take a break. This guy seems far too full on, just like pete and the last idiot. Look how they turned out.

    I'm looking out for what's best for you, I'm not just being a douche, and I know I can't always talk about these things but at least take advice from someone that knows??
    Last edited by Scarred_pierced; 08-19-2010 at 03:59 PM.

  3. #20883
    Senior Member black_thorn's Avatar
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    BAM. I'm happy, me and my friends went out on gay night 'cos we just wanted to have a laugh and a good night out without being letched on all night like what happens on a weekend. Anyway, this guy had been dancing with us all night and turns out we know his ex and then we had a kiss and that and exchanged numbers. This was Tuesday night, so then yesterday he text me asking how my hangover was and if I wanted to go round his and spend the day suffering there So I spent the whole day there and then we fell asleep and I missed my last bus home so I stayed and fell asleep some more then this morning he was saying he wants to see me more and so on. Didn't do anything but kiss and cuddle and that, which was strange! Hah, but he seems really nice actually.. though I know all his friends are massive man slags so I'm a bit weary as to if he is aswell.. but I don't overly mind something a bit casual too. We'll see, he's at college too so if anything more happens I can see him a bit, since he lives in the center of town which is just effort to go to)

    So I went out on gay night NOT to pull, and ended up with a guy
    Sarah


  4. #20884
    Senior Member quotidianaubergine's Avatar
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    Today my ex (of one week) asked if we could be f***buddies......

    As usual, a mixed message.
    currently: 1st lobes, 2nd lobes, nostril

    retired: 1.6mm lobes, 6mm lobes, snug, 2 x helix, septum, 2 x nostril, 5mm lobes, labret, 8mm lobes, left tragus, right conch, right double forward helix

  5. #20885
    Senior Member ciderxwithxrosie's Avatar
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    Uh oh, I'm starting to re-like someone that it'd never work with :/
    ROSIE!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Intra_venus View Post
    I've never thought of sex as some big important thing. Just something that feels nice that I like doing. Like going to Thorpe Park, it would be fun with anyone, but doing it with someone you love is an added bonus!

  6. #20886
    Senior Member Tabbyx's Avatar
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    So I kinda feel like crap. I've been speaking to my ex for the last week as we decided to be friends but he had some stuff to deal with so we haven't really had much chance to talk. I went to my uni house yesterday and he asked if he could come over, which I said yes to because I've missed him. I've really missed being with him and talking to him and feeling the comfort I always had. So he came over and we ended up sleeping together. And he keeps going on that we can do this 'no strings attached' as apparently I gave him committment issues. I really don't know what to do. I really missed him and I would love for us to get back together, because he is the only man I can see myself with, but I don't know if I can set myself for heartbreak by having a little of what I want.
    call me:Tabby, Tab, Tabby-cat...Whatever you like!
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  7. #20887
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    It sounds like he's just messing with you, and you're not going to be happy having no strings sex with him... I say, it's all or nothing. You might benefit from some more time apart.


  8. #20888
    Senior Member IckleNatStar's Avatar
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    Don't do it. I've been there and it'll just drag things out and make it harder for you to get over him. I think what Jane said about time apart is a very good idea. Maybe have no contact for a few months then see how you both feel then and see whether you can either be friends or if you think you could work things out
    Got: Left Ear: Lobe (19mm/5mm/1.6mm), 4xhelix, 5mm conch

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  9. #20889
    Senior Member ciderxwithxrosie's Avatar
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    Don't do it Tabby, I'm in a similar situation and it's so easy to get sucked back into the cycle but the best thing you can do is resist and walk away. To successfully be no strings with an ex is just something that seems impossible, certainly to me. I know you want to feel close to him but this is not the terms it should be on. Be strong
    Last edited by ciderxwithxrosie; 08-21-2010 at 06:29 PM.
    ROSIE!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Intra_venus View Post
    I've never thought of sex as some big important thing. Just something that feels nice that I like doing. Like going to Thorpe Park, it would be fun with anyone, but doing it with someone you love is an added bonus!

  10. #20890
    Senior Member Tabbyx's Avatar
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    Thanks for the advice ladies. I know it's not really a situation I want to get into. I don't think I can actually have my heart broken again. I don't know if I'm just trying to stay close to the one person thats actually listened to me and said the 'L' word and actually meant it. I'm gonna *try* not to talk to him for a while, but I'm not sure how that's gonna work yet. I've had a lot of problems lately and he's been the one person I could talk to.
    call me:Tabby, Tab, Tabby-cat...Whatever you like!
    Current Piercings :
    First Holes 1.2mm | Second Holes 1mm | 1.2mm Helix | 1mm Nostril
    Piercing Wish List: Tongue, conch, nipple (x2), VCH
    Tattoos : Hidden pentacle on right hip and Zabi with flower on my left foot

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