Kids v No Kids

I don't think it's right at all that it's easier for a young man to get a vasectomy than it is for a young woman to get her tubes tied, but I'm gonna have to agree that there should be an evaluation of the person. You shouldn't be able to walk into a doctor's office and say "I want to be sterile" and just automatically have it done... that's a huge deal. My sister used to say "I'm never having kids, I want my tubes tied" when she was about 19-20, now she's 23 and pregnant with a child she was trying to have. I've known a lot of women who never even wanted to be mothers until something inside them "clicked" and they decided there was nothing they wanted more.
I'm not saying everyone has a sudden realization that they want to have children because I believe there are a lot of people out there who just truly aren't meant to have children, and if someone regretted the surgery they would still be able to adopt. However, it really would be pretty irresponsible to just sterilize people left and right like like they were getting warts removed or a cut stitched up. In a world where we have so many types of birth control, surgical sterilization should only be reserved for those who are absolutely, 100% POSITIVE that they will never even think about having children. Those people may know in their hearts that it's truly what they want, but doctors are still obligated to make sure.

Also it's a lot easier to reverse a male vesectomy and they don't have lots of other birth control options. If their girlfriend is trying to get pregnant and they don't feel ready there's not much they can do about it. Condoms can be spiked. If you're going down the sexism route then it's sexist that birth control is all for women and men have to rely on unreliable condoms.

I do slightly agree that society is geared up for women who want to have kids. And some things can be unfair because of this. But society is also unfair to men who want to keep their kids after divorce, and to gay couples of either gender who want to adopt, as well as unmarried couples who want to adopt. It certainly doesn't make it right but unfortunately they're all things which we have to deal with until there's a way of changing them.

It's a simple procedure to reverse female sterilization now too. Tubes are no longer cut, they are simply clamped. If the woman changes her mind, yes, it's surgery again but the clamps can be removed!
I understand that there are other forms of contraception but none of them are 100% successful or reliable!

I have always known I don't want children.
When I was young I cut the head of my only doll.
I've split up with the love of my life because he wants children and I don't and I didn't think it was fair on him as I'll never change my mind!
I can't hold my cousins baby, cos it freaks me out!

I might need to push a bit harder when I get back to the UK, I know there is a female doctor at the surgery who seems more open to alternative ideas than the old male farts do.
She's willing to try things others aren't, so she might listen!

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Originally Posted by Youki-Hi

Also it's a lot easier to reverse a male vesectomy and they don't have lots of other birth control options. If their girlfriend is trying to get pregnant and they don't feel ready there's not much they can do about it. Condoms can be spiked. If you're going down the sexism route then it's sexist that birth control is all for women and men have to rely on unreliable condoms.

I do slightly agree that society is geared up for women who want to have kids. And some things can be unfair because of this. But society is also unfair to men who want to keep their kids after divorce, and to gay couples of either gender who want to adopt, as well as unmarried couples who want to adopt. It certainly doesn't make it right but unfortunately they're all things which we have to deal with until there's a way of changing them.

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No, it's sexist that women have a harder time obtaining the sterilization surgeries they want. The fact that female anatomy lends itself to more birth control methods is not sexist, it's just biology. Sexism is when something is deliberately set up to make things more difficult for the members of one sex. So if women could get sterilized easily and men were endlessly interrogated and turned away, then that would be sexist against men. But there's nothing sexist about men having to rely on condoms. First of all, it's a woman's body that pays the price if a pregnancy occurs, and men can always just leave the pregnant woman. Also, if they truly have a good relationship, they will be on the same page, and will be using more than one method of birth control. So to me, your argument doesn't hold up, sorry. You also assume that men who get vasectomies probably want it reversed, which is crap. Most of them don't want kids any more than I do, which is why they get the procedure, amazingly enough.

I don't know why Robin hasn't gone and got a vasectomy, he says never wants children and won't change his mind so I don't see why he doesn't just go get it done on the NHS if he feels so strongly about it, I hear it's very quick to get done. I'd have my tubes tied/clamped in a heartbeat but obviously I'm too young and also it's a much more invasive procedure prone to complications. Yes, I know his balls would hurt for a while but I think it's a small price to pay for more security (and I'm aware I probably sound selfish). Been wondering whether to get fertility tests done to see if we need to bother lol.

Just wait til he's drunk one night - a quick snip and he's not notice the diff :)

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Originally Posted by Slania

I don't know why Robin hasn't gone and got a vasectomy, he says never wants children and won't change his mind so I don't see why he doesn't just go get it done on the NHS if he feels so strongly about it, I hear it's very quick to get done. I'd have my tubes tied/clamped in a heartbeat but obviously I'm too young and also it's a much more invasive procedure prone to complications. Yes, I know his balls would hurt for a while but I think it's a small price to pay for more security (and I'm aware I probably sound selfish). Been wondering whether to get fertility tests done to see if we need to bother lol.

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For me it's about having the control in my own body. I could be with a man who's snipped but what about rape? I know nobody likes to think about that, but it's a possibility. I need to know that no matter what happens, my chances of pregnancy are extremely low.

I don't want kids. I'm of the opinion that you can only be truely, properly good at one major thing so I think parenting should be left to people who want it above all else. If I got pregnant I'm pretty sure i'd keep it and put it up for adoption, something good may as well come out of such a crappy situation.

Honestly I think only people who would be miserable without kids should have them. I would be absolutely miserable if I had kids, so I know I don't want them.

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Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain

Honestly I think only people who would be miserable without kids should have them. I would be absolutely miserable if I had kids, so I know I don't want them.

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I totally agree with you! This is the same reason that makes me think I shouldn't have children.
I know so many parents that shouldn't have had children for various reasons. Yet they have gone and had them and they are miserable, so by unfortunate circumstances the poor children are miserable! That child didn't ask to be born so why should it suffer with unsuitable parents?