personally i dont want kids but i'm also not a kid person. it depends on your personality.
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personally i dont want kids but i'm also not a kid person. it depends on your personality.
As a teacher I can safely say I don't want children of my own! I am more than happy to work with children but I do not want to have my own.
I know I'm good with children, that I've not broken any of them so far and I work with them everyday but that doesn't mean I have to want my own.
It's not even that I worry I'd end up with a slightly rebelious child because I was one, in fact those are the children I often get the best results out of in school. I think knowing what I was like has given me an understanding of how to relate to these children better.
I just don't want the responsibility and have no maternal instinct what so ever!
I have known this for a long time, when I was a bit younger I even went to the doctor to see about getting my tubes tied to avoid any little accidents. The doctor told me because I was so young, I would have to go to a shrink and they would have to evaluate me. I thought that was so insulting just because I know children don't fit into the way I see my future I need examining! Six years on my view still hasn't changed!
It annoys me when people I know are all "Oh don't say that! You'll change your mind one day!". I even had somebody suggest it was just because of my partner that I didn't want children and if I met the RIGHT person I'd change my mind, well I've since moved on and still don't want children.
Just because I'm a woman why should I have to have children?
I am horrible with children.
And it really sucks. I want mine tied too but they make it incredibly hard for younger women to get it done. I know I NEVER want to get pregnant, I'm not sure what's hard to understand about that.
Another annoying thing is that it's not 100 percent effective and pregnancy has been known to occur with it. It's rare, but it does happen. It's more effective if both partners are sterilized.
That's disgusting tbh, like they think we're not of sound mind because we don't want to be a baby machine.Quote:
Originally Posted by katielou
I honestly don't think it's that unreasonable to put a young person who wants the sort of procedure in for an evaluation first. It's all well and good knowing what you want, but it would be almost negligent of a doctor just to do something like that to a young woman without making sure she was of sound mind and 110% sure that it was what she wanted, and understood any complications that could happen afterwards.
I don't want kids for now. Maybe later.
+ 1. The doctor probably put it in a bad way. But they can't just tie the tubes of a young woman who might go and sue them ten years later for robbing her of her child bearing years and not properly explaining that it was permanent etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by SakuraChan
Anyway, I know people hate it when others say it, but I changed my mind about kids. I didn't used to want them at all. Then my sister had babies and I realised it was only kids I wasn't related to and couldn't tell off that I wanted to throw into trees. So doctors like to leave it open just in case you change your mind. And there's so many different forms of contraceptive around these days it should be relatively simple keeping your lady garden seed free.
I agree, it's the doctor's job. And great phrasing of the 'keeping your lady garden seed free'!Quote:
Originally Posted by Youki-Hi
I was anti-motherhood until about 7 months ago when I started a serious relationship with my boyfriend and for the first time found myself wanting to share everything with him - I've never met anyone that has made me feel like that before. It also changed my perspective with him being 6 years older than me, and having his young nephews/nieces visit regularly. My problem with kids is that I'd never been around them properly before and so had never bonded with a child, I thought it was my brain telling my body I didn't want kids. I was wrong, I'd love a child or two one day, especially if it's with my current boyfriend!
The reason it offended me so much is the fact the doctor was treating me like I was some stupid kid that should have still had a parent there with me when I need medical advice! He even used the phrase "That's ridiculous, how do you know you don't want children if you've not been in that sitiuation!", he seemed to think all I needed to do was get pregnant and suddenly I'd want whatever little thing was growing in me.Quote:
Originally Posted by SakuraChan
If he had even thought to ask, why don't you want children himself, then he would have discovered a huge list of well thought out reasons that would have demonstrated just how much thought I had already put into the matter. Instead he seemed so disgusted that I didn't want children he didn't seem to want to have to deal with me.
Also I was about to turn 25 at the time, which to me isn't that young!
I seriously have no maternal instinct whatsoever. I know it's harsh but I've had friends have babies and I've stopped spending as much time with those friends because I can't coo over their little puke makers!
I have family members with small children and one with a not so small child and it has never made me want one of my own! I have spent time with them and actually like the older kid but still wouldn't want to have to be a parent!
I know I can only just look after myself, why would I want to put a child through my parenting skills. I skip meals because I forget, I leave the door unlocked when I go to bed, I'm not really the type of person that things about things the way a parent should.
Teaching children is one thing, I am not responsible for them 24/7. I don't have to feed them, change them, entertain them, etc! Plus there are other adults who share my responsibility for them!
I also think I am too selfish to be a good mother, I like having the independence of having nothing tying me down. Why would I want a child that I would probably treat badly because I resent the constrictions it places on the way I want to live my life.
I got bored of the UK last year and moved to Korea on a whim! I could not have done that if I had small children to drag around after me. This is the way my life works, I get bored I up and move, I couldn't expect a child to cope like that!
Plus female sterilization is no longer something that is considered permanent! Decades ago the procedure was literally cutting your tubes, now you simply get them clapped, then if you do change your mind for whatever reason you can have the procedure reversed by going back under the knife and having the clamps removed..
I've put a lot of thought into this, I would never ask for any voluntary medical procedure without looking into it, so I know the success rates and possibilities for accidents and complications.
This has also allowed me to discover how to go about reversing the op, so while it's a long term solution to pregnancy it isn't the final solution to never having children!
I know there are other forms of contaception, I've tried several of them with various levels of success.
But why should I pump my body full of chemicals for however long I continue having periods in the effort not to get pregnant when there is a procedure that doesn't involve taking a pill that would suit me!
If I am still 200% sure I don't want children why shouldn't I be sterlized at 30?
At 30 it's to if you're in your late teens/early twenties. 25 is still quite young imo.Quote:
Originally Posted by katielou
My comment was more directed at Stef anyway, the doctor wanted you evaluated for a reason, not so that you could live to be a ''baby machine'' with no choice in the matter.
And yes, I know you can have it reversed, it's got a 97% success rate, but it's still a highly invasive procedure to put a teenager/young twenty something through just because she wants it at the point in time, without a proper evaluation first. I agree that your doctor went about suggesting it all wrong though.