Kids v No Kids

I still don't understand why it's anyone's business whether you do or don't or can't or don't want to! Maybe they're just trying to make smalltalk and don't realise how much it affects you when they say things like that? People do say stupid things all the time not thinking about it properly or not expecting it to be a big deal. I know plenty of people who can't or don't want kids, and honestly if you have a dog or 10 kids, it's nobody's business as long as they're well cared for, loved and happy.

I too hate it when people ask "oh when are you guys having a baby" because of what already happened. But they're not to know that, and it's just one of those things that comes up, even if it is only a week after the massive debacle and you still feel like killing yourself over it.

Obviously if they're on at you about it all the time you could just tell them to shove it and stop asking or you'll never stop to have a conversation with them again!
I do find it odd though, everyone goes on about how much of a big commitment it is to have children, and yet they ask and ask when you're having some, even though you keep telling them you're not ready and they don't seem to be able to accept it?

We will never have kids, I have a genetic disability that I could pass on, I would not want anyone to have to suffer this

i would rather spend my money and time on my pets, money on tattoos, piercings, take aways, watching films etc

i may not be liked for this but I don't like kids

Harley, I don't think anyone should feel worried about their decision not to have kids, whatever that reason is. Heaven knows that having kids is hard enough when you want them, let alone if you didn't. The kids themselves end up being the ones that suffer...

I don't really want kids to be honest, there's already plenty of people in the world and I'd rather focus on myself, friends, family and my own career etc first. That probably sounds really selfish but I kind of still feel a bit too young for all that parenting stuff. I think one day I will probably adopt, that way you get all the benefit of kids and can actually really help someone out who wouldn't have had much of a chance otherwise, especially if you already have a solid career and can support them through education that would have been hard for them before...

Never, ever wanted kids. I find them mildly repulsive if I'm honest - especially when they're small and sticky and grabby. I've finally, finally got to the stage where the people around me have stopped telling me that:

I'll change my mind when I get older (42, going through early stages of the change, still no tick-tock)
I'll change my mind when I get married (no idea why they thought that would make a difference)
I'll change my mind when I meet the right man (nope, not sure why that matters)
Who'll look after me when I'm old?
Why am I being selfish?

So many people feel that they have the right to judge your choices and your life when you tell them you don't have and don't want kids.

When I finally go through the change, I'll be throwing a party!

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Originally Posted by Bloodkisses

Never, ever wanted kids. I find them mildly repulsive if I'm honest - especially when they're small and sticky and grabby. I've finally, finally got to the stage where the people around me have stopped telling me that:

I'll change my mind when I get older (42, going through early stages of the change, still no tick-tock)
I'll change my mind when I get married (no idea why they thought that would make a difference)
I'll change my mind when I meet the right man (nope, not sure why that matters)
Who'll look after me when I'm old?
Why am I being selfish?

So many people feel that they have the right to judge your choices and your life when you tell them you don't have and don't want kids.

When I finally go through the change, I'll be throwing a party!

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It's disgusting how people seem to think people with wombs should have babies or that they don't know their own minds.

I've had it as well and I have a kid.

You'll want more.
It's unfair to only have one.
Do you not want to try for a girl?
You'll want another one when you get near 40.
You should give your bf a child.

And so on and so forth.

Also annoying whenever a woman says they have some good/exciting news people assume she is pregnant. Like nothing else could be exciting for a woman!


Its all the hints i hate. 'oooh we would love another baby in the family' well you are going to have one yourself as its not coming from me!

People at my work have started asking "so are you going to be having a baby soon then?" and I just point out I'm not paying so blooming much for the (delayed) honeymoon of a lifetime next summer to not be able to drink the free booze or eat all the amazing shellfish and sushi on offer! :tongue: We've not had them from the families so far, I think it helps Nick is the youngest in his family and I'm even younger than him so nobody is pressurising us since the older cousins aren't down with the baby jig as of yet. It doesn't bother me too much as I do love kids and I do want them someday, but at the moment I have no idea if we'll face any issue conceiving or carrying at all, and I'm confident if we do face either issue (or quite possibly if people just ask lots anyway) my replies will be a lot less light-hearted :frown:

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Originally Posted by Amelia66

Also annoying whenever a woman says they have some good/exciting news people assume she is pregnant. Like nothing else could be exciting for a woman!

Its all the hints i hate. 'oooh we would love another baby in the family' well you are going to have one yourself as its not coming from me!

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Yeah, it's made into such a big deal and their partners often get overlooked which is very sad imo. If my family said crap like that to me I wouldn't talk to them tbh. Most of my comments have come from so-called friends, co-workers, generalised comments somewhat aimed at me etc.

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Originally Posted by Kaitey (:

People at my work have started asking "so are you going to be having a baby soon then?" and I just point out I'm not paying so blooming much for the (delayed) honeymoon of a lifetime next summer to not be able to drink the free booze or eat all the amazing shellfish and sushi on offer! :tongue: We've not had them from the families so far, I think it helps Nick is the youngest in his family and I'm even younger than him so nobody is pressurising us since the older cousins aren't down with the baby jig as of yet. It doesn't bother me too much as I do love kids and I do want them someday, but at the moment I have no idea if we'll face any issue conceiving or carrying at all, and I'm confident if we do face either issue (or quite possibly if people just ask lots anyway) my replies will be a lot less light-hearted :frown:

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I'm really shocked that people ask such personal questions, it's so weird. I remember a guy at work asking me once if I was going to have another baby after I got married and I very loudly asked if he was offering to f**k me or something as that's the only logical reason he would have to ask such a thing, he never made a comment like that again.

Not to mention people who assume and talk to me like I've only been pregnant once just because I only have one child.

People are arses over things like this, it really annoys me.

Honestly, I feel like people who don't want kids should never, ever get one. Not just because I respect that they don't kids, but also because people who DO want kids and love kids are driven crazy by them. Like, you don't know what your child is going to turn out like. You could have the most annoying, pesky little brat ever and if you didn't like kids much to begin with you're REALLY going to hate this one even if it's yours.

My brother loves kids, him and his wife got a baby and the kid is almost 2 years old now. I love kids, too, and I have no problem hanging out with them, playing with them, and looking after them but this kid is the worst. Like, they've been living with me for the past 10 months and I hate this kid to the point where he makes me question wanting kids myself. Like, the entire family is shocked by just how ridiculously annoying this child is. My brother, who loves kids and loves his son, is constantly aggravated by him and I hate to think what he'd be like if he DIDN'T like kids from the get-go.