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I'm still prety sure, I'm not interested in having kids in the future. But I'm not saying I most definately am NEVER gonna have kids, cause world has a funny way of changing things and opinions. But I'm still 99% sure, that even IF I ever plan to have a child, I don't want to give birth to a new one, since I don't find that i need to spread my DNA and genetic values, I'm not that special. I'd rather adopt a child, that's what I'm thinking at the moment...
Alot of my friends don't seem too bothered about kids, but talk about having them in the future as if it's just what you should do. I find it strange as they never seem to be particularly interested in children, their desire seems a little half-hearted.
I just don't think I was born with a maternal part of my brain! I have never looked at a baby and found it cute or wanted to look after it :/ sounds harsh, but it's just a part of my personality which I just don't have. I like little children aged sort of 3+, but tha's just because I love the games they play and their energy! I don't think I could quite cut it looking after them.
Kitties though, THAT is a different story :) I think my maternal instincts have been programmed for animals instead of humans!
I wanted to have a child but it was also influenced by how hard it was to fall pregnant. I didn't ovulate so had to take medication to help with this. My Son Jake at 4 was diagnosed with Mild Autism & I spent many years helping to prepare him for school. There was no time for another as he needed us. Its hasn't been easy but I don't regret one moment. He is now 9 & in grade 3. He is a year older the all the other kids but needed the extra time to be ready for school. One advantage is he will be driving before all his peer group! He has taught me so much about the way he sees the world. He has difficulties with social things & doesn't always read people's faces. He joined the Cub scout movement last year to help with this & Karate tonight to build some confidence. It was a relief when he went to school as I could finally have some "me" time! :tongue:
I consider myself a mom without kids, and my biggest dreams in life have always been to find a guy I'll love and have kids.
Don't know if I'm fertile enough to have a baby naturally though, because of my history of anorexia. Just hoping. Finding out I can't have kids would probably kill me..
At this stage in my life I don't want children. Maybe in a few years, but right now they just piss me off and I've not the patience to deal with them.
This article just about sums my feelings up!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...I-ve-done.html
Good article considering it's from the Daily Fail. Seen many like it before and to me it just sums up how crappy and judgemental society is towards everyone about any choice relating to children.
You say you don't want kids as a younger person - people either say you'll change your mind when you're older
You say you don't want kids as an older person - see that article etc (you're selfish/not complete/won't be happy/unfair etc)
You don't have kids and are too old/unable to do so - Your life is over, you will never know what it's like to be **** blah etc
You have only 1 kid and say you don't want any more - You're cruel to that kid, it will be lonely, a spoilt brat
You can't have kids - it must be awful, soul destroying, you must have IVF etc
You have a kid with a disability - you must have done something wrong during your pregnancy
You have 2 kids and they're the same sex - when are you going to have another so you can have a boy/girl, it's not fair they only have a brother/sister
You have 3 or more kids - you're popping them out like you don't give a shit about them
You have 5 or more kids - you're a baby making machine and can't possibly look after them all, how selfish!
You have kids and go to work - you're cruel cos you put them in day care
You have kids and stay at home and don't work - you're lazy
You have kids and work from home - you must ignore them all day.
I could go on forever. Sad thing is, no matter what anyone does, what anyone wants, what anyone expresses, someone somewhere will berate and belittle you for it. I've been called numerous ridiculous things before, during and after having a child, that included being near convinced for quite a while I may not even have kids. So I feel for anyone who goes through such shit from 'friends' and from society.
I also learned that it's usually a discussion/conversation I explain is my personal business and if people don't like that they can FO ;)
thanks everyone for sharing the discussions.
But I'm just concerned about the issue of personality development of the kids.
How parent can develop a versatile and decent personality of their child.
I need comments.
regards
I hate all these stereotypes placed upon people. Nobody has the right to jusdge you and your choices, regardless of what their own (usually narrow minded) opinions are. My mam got stick for having me at 44 years old. She had previously had four kids and was a working mum (which she also got stick for). Because she was older all everybody proceeded to tell her how dangerous late pregnancies are and how I would most likely have a disability due to her recklessness. Utter rubbish! My poor mam was terrified by all she heard and yet I am now 18 and perfectly healthy. Shows what they knewQuote:
Originally Posted by redraven
Same thing with my mom, she had 5 children and everyone thought there was no way she could take care of us all. They also thought she did it to keep my father from leaving her - logical much? He left anyway lol and she took care of us all brilliantly.
On the topic of kids and selfishness: Our government wants to make it legal for single moms to get artificial insemination, and the Sweden Democratic Youth (a horrible, horrible youth league of the horrible, horrible Swedish Democrats) is against this, saying "it's selfish to get a child on your own". Yes, because the only reason for getting kids is personal fulfillment, of course!