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I actually get on quite well with kids. I never baby talk to them but they seem to respond well to me.
I like the idea that amongst all the badly raised chav-spawn, my kid will stand out as a decent human being. It will probably be worshipped as some kinda God...:)
I don't exactly baby talk to them, but I find I can be a bit patronising to them but that's mainly with kids I don't know. One of my best friends has a 3 year old sister who I adore and get on with very well and who knows who I am and can say my name and comes and sits on me which I find so cute but I find myself talking normally to her and I put my foot down if she starts being difficult with me so I have a backbone with kids! Hahah. Same with my little cousin, she's just turned 5 I think and she's a beautiful and hilarious little girl, comes out with some gems but again, I just treat her normally and feel quite strongly for her, if that makes sense.
Like I said, I think I'm just bad with kids I don't know.
I've gotten better with kids over the past two years training as a radiographer. Before then, even though I've always wanted them, they scared me senseless because I never knew what to say to them in case I came off as patronising. Now its better now I've had more practice.
Actually, kids in their early teens scare me sh*tless. They look at you as though to say "what the hell are you doing?" especially when asking questions before x-raying them, pretending they're all hard and know it all, moody and silent.
Depends on the child. I know some lovely children and some awful ones too. It's down to parenting, and I'd want to be the best parent I could, and have polite, well behaved kids that other people don't despise. So it's a big commitment. I think I'll be quite career focussed, so I'd not have kids while I'm trying to work my way up. It's not fair on the child imo. To me, it's very circumstantial.
I think it's really interesting to read the responses in this thread. I have a little boy who will be 2 next month, and I never knew that I would love being a mother as much as I do! I loved being pregant, although I do agree that if I sat around and thought about it too much, it could freak me out. However once you feel the baby move it becomes less of an alien and more like your baby. I got stretch marks like crazy, which was odd because my mother never had any with the 5 babies that she had. That wasn't fair, but oh well. We had tried for almost a year to conceive our son, so we were very grateful for him and it made me not even mind the stretch marks.
As for bringing a child into the world we live in today, I believe people have probably thought that for generations. However I believe that my children will leave a positive influence on the planet and perhaps help find answers and solutions to some of the problems that we're facing today. I take being a mother very seriously, and I absolutely refuse to have a brat for a child. My little boy like I said is not yet two, and he's already learning matters. He says "Yes/no ma'am", "please", "thank you", etc.
And regarding childbirth, I may be the oddball here but I have to say that the day my son was born was amazing. I worked as a labor and delivery nurse prior to his birth so I knew what to expect, yet I opted for an unconventional birth and did not use any pain medication whatsoever. Yes, it was incredibly intense but I wouldn't exactly call it pain. Just tons of pressure! We took classes and my husband did a great job coaching me and helping me relax. It only took 9 hours from start to finish, and he was nearly 10 pounds. I only gained 25 pounds with him, and lost all of it within 6 weeks after his birth. Considering that nearly half of that was the baby, it wasn't hard to do.
It was awesome, and I look forward to doing it all again, but I can appreciate those who decide that this path just isn't for them! I think it's great to know that before, instead of finding it out when you have a crying baby in your arms.
+ 1. I find kids love me because I treat them like people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miharu
And I hate bad parents, it's like my biggest pet peeve. The other day me and my boyfriend were walking round a supermarket and there was this little brat pulling stuff off the shelves and his mum was just laughing at him and when someone said "would you mind controlling your child, he's causing a lot of work for everyone else here" she snapped at him and went "he's my f***ing child, I'll do what I f***ing like. Anyway he's just being a child, children like to play." It was mental.
I'm not naive enough to think my kids will be perfect but I was bought up to learn manners and to behave in public and to think of others, as was my boyfriend. My children will have the same values in their upbringing and while sometimes they'll misbehave I hope they'll mostly be great kids.
oh man.. i go back and forth EVERYDAY whether or not to have kids.
its so huge.
Urgh I hate badly behaved children and desperately hope that any children of mine will have sufficient notions of respect and good manners instilled in them that they wont be like some of the kids you see. I was in a shop the other day and saw a young woman, two men and a toddler. The mum was looking at some clothes on one side of the shop and the little toddler was looking for her. (I say toddler, she must have been about 3/4). The little girl yelled out 'Mum, where are you, you bitch??' and the mum and two blokes with her just laughed like it was the funniest, cutest thing in the world. If a child is allowed to behave like that at that age, imagine what they will be like by the time they are 10-11. Also, it makes me question what other unsavoury behaviour the poor thing is being exposed to at home.
Anyway, to get back on topic....I can't wait to have kids. I think being responsible completely for someone, someone that is a product of you, someone that will (hopefully) turn out however you mould them is an incredible thing. I have only just started out in my career and it is very important to me. This means lots of long days in the office, stressy moments and times when I am required to fly out to the M.E. at short notice. I realise this isn't the right time for me to have kiddies (I'm only in my early 20s). I want to achieve everything I want to achieve in my working life first and then, when I'm ready and my partner's ready, do the whole marriage, kids thing. But then hey, when does anything ever go to plan?
However, I appreciate parenthood isn't for everyone and to people who say not having children is self-fish...surely it's more self-fish to bring unwanted and potentially unloved children into the world?
Children are just too much work. They just aren't worth the hassle. Parents today are put under so much pressure to bring up perfect children, but what's the point?
They are just walking problems to which you constantly have to find solutions.
Let's start at the beginning with my first reason for being anti-children:
There is no time left to be you any more.
Make no mistake, bringing up children is war, and you're on the losing side.
Every time you plan a little escape they will undermine you. Just as you are off to bed with your partner, they'll throw up; the one night you book a babysitter they'll come down with a fever; on your birthday they'll throw a tantrum as you're stepping out of the door - you just can't win.
Kids cost a fortune. First the family car and the house, then there's basics like food and clothes, and that's before they start pestering you for the latest toy.
and this is the killer....
They could end up being your problem for the rest of your life. What a prospect!!!
OMG i just had one of my co-workers do that totally annoying patronsing "ooooooooh but once you have one of your own you'll love them...." Arggggggggg its not like im going to pop one out to test drive the theory.
Must......kill.......why oh why when i say that i dont want children do they feel the urge to get you to change your mind, like the fate of humanity depends on you popping out a sprog