Fair enough. But when people get told their lives are pointless things are likely to get heated
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Fair enough. But when people get told their lives are pointless things are likely to get heated
Likely, yes... but not inevitably. :)
I'm blaming my ridiculous optimism on it being a new year. Don't worry, I'm sure it wont last long. :tongue:
Ahhh sorry.. Teach me to assume.
Sorry! I really should catch uip with some of the history on here lol!
Heh, you can't be blamed for that. All the posts were deleted anyway
Fair enough then - Ill stop searching lol!
Sounds like that can happen a lot here really.... I spose in a way that quite exciting and in another very annoying lol...
I think the point of life is to enjoy it as much as possible.
It's really funny that some people pretty much have to wax poetic about why they want kids. Because the truth is, the only reason for reproducing--propagating the species--has been done, and done well. There are way too many people. It is funny to hear "Oh, so we can nurture a life and watch it grow, etc." "To celebrate our love"
When it comes down to it, there's really no reason to have kids except to reproduce, unless you adopt.
But what about those people whose reason for having children is to, you know, raise a family, watch it grow and develop out of love , to teach their children everything they can about life......not just to reproduce.....is that a "valid" reason? Or is it not? Not everyone does it to "propagate" the species. Dawn and I for one didn't think that the population needs another added, no. We wanted a child for reasons of love.Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain
And I honestly don't think that nature planned life to exist for it "to have fun". That's a bit far fetched really, don't you think?
I'm not sure nature "planned" anything Nick
Quote:
Originally Posted by IckleNatStar
I think what Nick was sayin was that nature gave us the 'parts' so to speak to reproduce, to carry on our species, like any other life form. If not then the just for living and enjoying it would be the only option left.
Whos to say just because you have children that your not enjoying your life? Everyone enjoys different things dont they?
Swimming, i dont have to 'wax poetic' about anything, i enjoy being a mum... wtf is your point?
Just because you havnt tasted alot of what life has to offer yet dosnt make you the 'know it all' about it.. same as just because iv done may things you havnt dosnt mean i know it all either. Its called a difference of opinion, where as most ppls are based on more than what they have read/seen, Some ppl have actualy tried the things they comment on. Your attitude on many things bug me... id say go get laid but i have this feeling you will come back with 'what do i need to do that for, i wont enjoy it cause its all fake'
We had a huge debate about this on Hogmanay. One of my friends girlfriends was out with us and she said she's glad they didn't go out with his other friends Andy and Gemma cos last time she was over there Gemma said "so when are you going to make your life meaningful and have a baby?"Quote:
Originally Posted by IckleNatStar
I'd have slapped her!
Dawn - Just because nature gave us the parts to reproduce doesn't mean that's the whole point of life. Hell it gave me the parts to do handstands but that's not the point of life is it?
Tegoz - I have no time for people like those you mentioned. Having children isn't the only way to make your life meaningful. What about doctors that spend their entire lives helping people but don't have kids? Their lives certainly aren't meaningless
Nat i never said it was
Fair enough, you just seemed to be backing up that side of the argument
Iv grown past the stage where i chose sides, we are no longer at school. I form my own opinion alot of the time its different to everyone else's.
As with alot of disccusions, my opinion will cover both opinions... im weird like that.
I'm happy for you. All I was saying was that was how it came across. Now you've made it clear it wasn't so everythings peachy
Having kids is a pain. Kids make messes, stress you out, limit what you can do and when, and how it can be done. There's actually a line in the book White Oleander that made me realize even more that I never want kids. It's when the mother of the main character is describing to her daughter how nice it was when she abandoned her for a year and just did whatever she wanted. It made me realize that if you're not 110 percent invested in having kids, you shouldn't have them.
The point of MY life is to enjoy it as much as possible. As human beings we were given the ability to rise above instincts, and do other things with our lives besides reproduce. I choose to enjoy other things in life. I want to travel, learn languages, get tattoos and piercings, graduate college, learn about the world, and better myself.
I don't think there's anyone who can deny that with a child, these things would be much, much harder to accomplish. Even finishing school. I had a classmate who had to have her parents watch her 2-year-old while she was in class. It was a hardship for them, and for her. Having kids is great for the people who have made the decision to invest their entire lives in it. For everyone else, I really think being childfree is the best option, especially for those who feel pressured to have kids by society or family but don't really want kids. I get asked why I don't want kids, but nobody ever seems to get asked why they DO want them.
its this that differentiates our species from the rest of the animal kingdom! we have the intelligence to make choices, determine our own paths in life!Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain
what about those people who didnt choose to get pregnant tho? accidental pregnancies are more and more common especially among teenagers! even tho these people havent chosen to be parents, they step up! (well, most do!) their lives are put on hold while they raise a child! but they do it! x
i think ill start usein the internet an books an movies to pull up reasons to have children... as that seems to be the only way to get a point across with some ppl
my sister was 15 when she had her first! her life was most definately on hold! just cos something worked for you doesnt mean it works for everyone else! her education, social life, career is something she is really only gettin now! so yea, her life was on hold! x
I can't really say anything about accidental pregnancies except to say that I would not have an accidental pregnancy because I am consciously making the decision not to have kids, and this decision informs all of my other decisions that could possibly affect my decision not to have kids. People get pregnant accidentally all the time and are happy and love their kids, it's just that this is not a path I want to take.
Most people love their kids. It doesn't mean that everyone should have them. Loving or not loving your kids has nothing to do with whether you were financially and emotionally equipped to raise a child to the age of 18, and sometimes beyond (my friend still lives with his parents due to a number of unfortunate circumstances, at age 23, and they have to nag him to take his medication and shower and change his clothes and even EAT).
Having a child is a life-altering, permanent decision. It's amazing how many people drift through life not giving it a second thought.
its not a choice, its an accident. you could take the most effective form of birth control and it could fail, and you could get preganant.Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain
personally i think i want children but not for a decade or so. there's so many things i want to do before having children. but for all i know it may happen sooner, later or not at all due to unforseen circumstances.
Tbh i'd be excited to carry the baby, the birth scares me. i just cant imagine pushing a baby out of me. But also as recently a family friend had a baby by cerseaion but they broke his leg as they took him out, and another woman i know was told to push much too early. consquently she now has terribly knee/ back pain. she has to use a wheelchair to go long distances. however when i was 3 i saw the birth of my sister, at home. as far as i can remember it all went ok, without complications. as i was born at home as well, i think i'd much perfere to home a birth.
its pregnancies on purpose at really young ages that concern me, i know somebody whose only reason at 15 to get pregnant was that at 16 she would get her own place and more benefits ...... that i think is disgusting. I know others who have had like 5 children mainly for the money and have never worked a day in their life.
Young people who "accidentally (i.e were using the pill and condoms etc)" get pregnant who step up to the challenge , work and look after their children well are fantastic, especially those who sill complete college and their degrees even after having a child young. A big well done to them.
Young people who dont use anything and wonder why they get pregnant are either stupid or totally uneducated in contraception, i know at school i wasnt taught until my last year even tho i know for a fact people were sleeping together in second year thru to 5th year, i didnt even know there were clinics which were confidential , the places to get the morning after pill etc until i was 15.5. My first time the condom split and i still had no idea where to get the morning after pill and i was 16 , thankfully i googled and found that boots stores give you it for free and i took that.
If my contraception failed (implant) and i became pregnant then id keep the child as my mother is a childminder and my current OH who said he was a big baby was actually 7lb so thats a good sign .
i must agree. know a woman like this. she took a year out, then finshed her a-levels , and is now doing a degree. of course its difficult, but theres no doubt it can be doneQuote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
Yes! this is my sister! she left "regular" high school if you like, and had to go to a mums and tots school to finish her GCSE's of which she was only allowed to take her maths, english and science! she got a flat, and has basically dun everything for herself since the day she found out she was pregnant! given the path she was actually on, her having a baby was a god-send! actually straightened her out!Quote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
this however, makes no sense to me! you would keep the baby cos your mother is a child minder? erm, pfft! im lost! xQuote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
i meant that right now as im a part time student and work full time my mother would be able and willing to look after my child while i continued to study and work towards me and my childs future etc and id know my child would be looked after well.Quote:
Originally Posted by sambalina
Otherwise I abort as I wouldnt not be willing to stop studying and working to look after a child and have no money and no real future type thing.
I know what i mean, its all in theory type thing my implant is 99 point something % effective so its unlikely to happen.
Even abstinence isn't 100% effective, I mean look at Holy Mary.
Hahaha.
I find that I'm using condoms less often than I did, but I do still take birth control so it's not a problem.
However, I do choose to use condoms, it's just sometimes I don't have the money to buy them.
I think as long as you're trying to use some kind of method of birth control (besides the pull out method, urgh), you're entitled to an abortion because you weren't being totally careless.
This is kind of off topic though.
Pull out doesnt work coz there are litle impatient spermies who get out early!
I know, that's why I don't think it counts as a responsible way of preventing pregnancy.
I no people who use it lol
*tuts, shakes head and says nothing*
Howz this for suckish... I'm allergic to tea, bananas and one or two of the ingredients in the pill lol!!! And I'm not allowed the implant for various medical history issues...
Condoms all the way, hey? ;)
Try the coil?Quote:
Originally Posted by DavyBobMacca
They're not very smart then..hah.Quote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
Lol theyre stupid bt there u goQuote:
Originally Posted by tacosareyummeh
Quote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
I've looking into it... But to be fair... It doesn't look like I'm gonna be getting any for quite a while lol...
Although I do know sex has a habit of creeping up on you when you least expect it. And no. I don't mean rape! ;)
haha tell me about it! which kind of led to me being really stupid last week and not using anything. :poster_oops:Quote:
Originally Posted by DavyBobMacca
which then got me thinking about this thread. i've always been massivley against having children, at least before i was married and had a stable job and income, but this week i have though that if i did turn out to be pregnant, i feel ready now to try and step up and take responsibility. definitely firmly in the kids camp for now.
Lol - well good luck whichever way it goes ;)
[QUOTE=IckleNatStar;1128957]I'm not sure nature "planned" anything Nick[/QUOTE]
That was my point entirely. It didn't plan for life to be a bed of roses. It didn't plan for man to grow and develop nuclear weapons. It simply cannot. Nature is what it is, we just have to go with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain
Life is always harder when your attention is having to be divided between more than just yourself.
And yeah, people have asked me why I want kids, and I tell them why too. Just because. Not because I want to be a homework tutor or a disciplinarian for 18 years. Just because. Sure, I know the road ahead is tough, I already know this having a 3yr old daughter and a 10yr old stepdaughter. And with bump on the way, it's going to get a whole lot more challenging yet. Does this worry me? No. Not really, because as a human being, I thrive on challenges. I love to work through the crap and get to the other side and say "I've accomplished XY and Z". These challenges make us who we are, and having children is a challenge I would not swap for all the tea in China, all the Porsche 911's in the world, all the money in the world. Life is a whole different (imho better) ball game with kids involved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sambalina
Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmingthroughrain
That's the beauty of being human. We can make the choice. Dawn and I made ours, as did other 'wanting' parents. Some people (my best friend and cousin) for example choose to spend their lives sans infant. Are they any less happy than me? Who can say? They sure seem happy. Dawn and I are happy.
Children do not validate a relationship, but they can and more often than not do, enhance it. It can also go the other way and cause stress......but hey, so does life in general. Work can cause stress, it can also bring jubilation to some peoples lives.
Ultimately, as individuals, we cannot tell other people what to think or to choose, because we are exactly that, individual. For some, children is a choice, for others it is not. We have to respect that and go with it, much like we have to go with what life throws at us.
I have found the perfect contraception - become a lesbian! :D
i like it :)