Kids v No Kids

Lol I liked the rant. It was the same for me, my dad was disabled and couldn't work all that well and my mums cared for him as well as us so we often had no money. They rented and never owned a house but we loved each other and loved what we had (I did anyway) even if I didn't have branded things and got bullied at school for it, I was strong enough to let it go over my head.

I was told at primary school I was 'slow' and even had a teacher tell me I'd do no good in life. At GCSEs I was predicted to scrape 2 passes maybe. I ended up with 11 GCSEs 10 A-B and 1 C. 1 NVQ Lv2, 3 NVQ Lv3 and 2 NVQ Lv4 as well as various courses when I worked for BT and local government. I've worked f/t since I was 16 with hardly any breaks.

But now because I work from home and don't earn a fortune I get told I don't have a proper job or career, oh and I live in a council house because the council (who I worked for at the time) made a massive mistake and basically ended up making me get evicted from my private rented property, something I am often reminded of but I adore the area I live in, its the nicest place I've ever lived even if my house is tiny. I don't care about the comments made about where I live, I've lived here for nearly 5 years incident free yet its supposed to be one of the nastiest places to live in my town (go figure).

But the main thing is my family are happy, I have 3 jobs, hubby has 1 but is looking for another or one with more hours, my step daughter has a f/t job with training to be a teaching asst and pays her way without complaining. Most things my son wants he can have but he rarely asks, in fact he asks more for kisses and cuddles than for the latest Nintendo game. So in essence I don't think it really matters, as long as you are happy, work hard, try your best and don't hurt anyone else in the process then sod what anyone else thinks!

I can't even fathom having a kid before 25, it really amazes me to think there are girls my age with kids. A girl I know is only 2 years older than me and is on her second kid and the first one is almost 2 which means she had him when she was my age.
If someone wanted to have a kid before said age, that's up them, but personally I'd rather enjoy a life without having the responsibility of a kid for a few years and enjoy my marriage with only us to worry about.
This comes into a bit of an issue when me and my boyfriend discuss this, he's 2 years older so he wants kids by the time he's 25 but I'll only be 23 then and who knows if we'll even be married at that point. If all goes as it's going now, we should be, but there's always the chance we won't have the money or whatever and if that's the case I'm not trying to have kids. Plus I really don't think him being a 27 year old dad for the first time is a big deal, I could probably hold off on kids till I'm 30 if need be! Past that is too long to wait though.

I don't think thats too old for him really. I was the same as you I wanted to wait. I had my son a couple of months before I was 25 which suited me perfectly. Hubby on the other hand is 12 years older than me. He's 43 this year and is still saying if I want more I can do but I'm pretty sure 1 is enough lol!

I was slow too. I didnt learn to read or write at all until i was in year 2/3. I had a hearing problem , which is resolved now almost, which cant have helped in my learning as i couldnt hear the teacher.
I got gcse resutls like you, all a and a* with one b and one c . But yeah good on you :) what work do you do at home?

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Originally Posted by redraven

I don't think thats too old for him really. I was the same as you I wanted to wait. I had my son a couple of months before I was 25 which suited me perfectly. Hubby on the other hand is 12 years older than me. He's 43 this year and is still saying if I want more I can do but I'm pretty sure 1 is enough lol!

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I don't think it is either and I just don't see the need to rush! I know kids are a lovely thing to experience with someone you love, but I know that the time you have together isn't the same once a kid comes into the picture and I want to enjoy that while I can!

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Originally Posted by tacosareyummeh

This comes into a bit of an issue when me and my boyfriend discuss this, he's 2 years older so he wants kids by the time he's 25 but I'll only be 23 then and who knows if we'll even be married at that point. If all goes as it's going now, we should be, but there's always the chance we won't have the money or whatever and if that's the case I'm not trying to have kids. Plus I really don't think him being a 27 year old dad for the first time is a big deal, I could probably hold off on kids till I'm 30 if need be! Past that is too long to wait though.

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IMO when to have kids should mainly be up to the woman in the relationship. Men can have kids any time; they're not like women in that it starts getting dangerous at a certain age. Not saying 80-year-old men should be having babies, but I don't think there's anything wrong with a man having his first child in his 30's or even 40's. My dad was 35 or 36 when I was born and I've never felt like he was super old or anything.
My sister's husband is about 10 years older than her (she's 23, he's almost 33) and she's pregnant now, I really think he rushed her into it. She's still working on her degree and stuff but he's just really impulsive and decided he wanted a kid NOW (and used his age as an excuse, I'm pretty sure).
My boyfriend's 8 1/2 years older than me and even if I stay with him I don't plan on having any children until I'm at least 26. I'll have had to finish ALL of my schooling and have a very steady job. He'd have to learn to deal with being a 34-40 year old dad!

I totally agree. We're the ones who have to go through with it physically too and so it should only be when we're prepared for it, not just cause the guy wants one now. If they really want it to happen with that woman in particular, it shouldn't be hard for them to wait!

Yep, it can alter a woman's body for good and I'd rather not risk that possibility when I'm in my early 20s!

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Originally Posted by Coraz0ndeOro

My sister's husband is about 10 years older than her (she's 23, he's almost 33) and she's pregnant now, I really think he rushed her into it. She's still working on her degree and stuff but he's just really impulsive and decided he wanted a kid NOW (and used his age as an excuse, I'm pretty sure)

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I think thats horrible in all honesty. My hubby has never once pressurised me into anything whether it be having a kid, not having another, needing to have another before he's too old etc. I also think its more the womans right to say if/when as its her carrying the baby.

I think it's horrible, too; he's just that kind of person and it's really awful that my sister puts up with it! He's a decade older than her but he acts like a 3-year-old... he actually threw a bit of a fit when he found out it wasn't a boy because he's really sexist.