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I totally agree with that comment! As long as my brother's understand that I won't have anything to do with babies but as soon as their children reach 2/3 I'm willing to fulfil all aunty duties!!!! If either of them ever get round to it!Quote:
Originally Posted by .Only.Streetlights.
+1 . My mother has made me watch multiple births since i was tiny to put me off having children young, and told me horror stories and shows like one born every minute just reinforce how rubbish NHS treatment is the midwifes are overworked and people are messed about loads and rushed and forced into things they dont want to hurry them up.Quote:
Originally Posted by .Only.Streetlights.
sorry still disagreeQuote:
Originally Posted by redraven
I'm not too sure what you're disagreeing with me on there, thats my opinion, I don't want to have any more children right now for various reasons, I'm sorry if you think I should!! If your comments refer to the post above mine then parenting IS a hard job, anyone who disagrees with that I am highly surprised by. Yes it is very rewarding but to say it's easy is misleading. I am speaking with experience of step children from age 6 to 19 and my own son from birth to 6 years old.Quote:
Originally Posted by sol
My mum hasn't gone quite that far but she has on more than one occassion voiced support for me choosing not to have children.Quote:
Originally Posted by bekki2308
When her friends who have children my age are all talking about what joy they get from been grandmothers (some of their children had babies instead of going to do A-levels) and question why I haven't had children yet my mother tells them that's cos I want a life of my own first.
Then when they start saying "Oh I bet you can't wait until she has kids though?" my mum always says "To be honest I doubt she'll bother, personally I agree with her, there's more to life than having kids or grandkids!".
They all tend to just stare at her with open mouths!!!!
Wish my mum was like that - i get little comments about how my bro having a kid jst isnt the same as her daughters having them. She'Quote:
Then when they start saying "Oh I bet you can't wait until she has kids though?" my mum always says "To be honest I doubt she'll bother, personally I agree with her, there's more to life than having kids or grandkids!".
They all tend to just stare at her with open mouths!!!!
d better get used to it tho, neither me or my sis has any inclination towards kids
I find some of these recent comments really funny, my mum doesn't push her opinion on me but i know deep inside she wants grandkids bad! lol.
I was reading alot of the older comments on this forum - crazy stuff! but one thing that i felt the need to comments on - please excuse me i can't remember who said it - but someone said they were told they were selfish for not wanting any more kids - i have heard that mentality used in both my decision not to have kids (i.e. i dont want them because i'm selfish) and also when a friend of mine became pregnant for the 3rd time (she was selfish for having another!) it always astounds me how rude and callous you have to be to tell someone they are selfish for a choice they have made about their own bodies and their own lives. I really dont understand why people think it is acceptable to comment on something so personal. As i think was pointed out what if said person couldn't have anymore children?!
Also in regards to an earlier discussion when i started going with my man (about 8 years ago now! how time flies) i said i didnt want kids and he said he did, but instead we decided to take it a day at a time and not to worry about it while we were happy, i don't know if thats the best way to go about it but we mutally decided it wasn't worth arguing about at an early stage. since then we have had a number of ups and downs which have taken precedent so we haven't discussed it but i think we ar eboth sensible enough to know now certainly is not the time, we have alot of growing up to do first and i'm not in a rush! :D
I do want kids very much but as yet havent been very lucky. Having children is entirely a personal choice and of course there is no right or wrong answer its down to the individual.
I think I'm actually really lucky in the respect that my mother totally understands my choice not to have children.
She agrees there are many reasons for me not to bother and she's never made comments about missing out on grandchildren. In fact my cousin made her god mother to her daughter so she's kinda got a pretend grandchild right there!
I'd never thought of the hypocritic nature of that before Dungeoneer, I've often been told that I am selfish for not wanting children and to a small degree that upsets me, I mean why is it selfish if I'm chosing not to have a child because I don't think I'd be able to do the greatest job as a mother? Surely it's kinder not to put a child through poor parenting. If I chose not to have children, surely that only affects myself and my partner (who would obviously have to feel the same way I do) so how can that be selfish? How can chosing not to do something be selfish?
However I'd never thought about all those parents (like a friends mother who has 6 kids, is a single mum, has never worked a day in her life and lives on benefits in a council house instead) who I call selfish because they are having children they can't really afford to have, I'd never thought about how they would feel to be called selfish!
Thanks for making me see I was been a little hypocrit there!!!
Mind saying that it doesn't stop me thinking they are!!!!!!!!!!