General Relationship Thread

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08-28-2008, 02:10 PM
FakeFlower

Quote:

Originally Posted by stinkerbell

what can you do when the spark is gone? ive been with my partner for 7 years, weve lived together for 5 and i dunno, i love him and i want to be with him but like before i moved in with him i used to get a fluttery feeling in my tummy when he cuddled/kissed me and i could just spend hours snuggled up watching tv with him and when i thought about him i would get a big smile on my face and get a little shiver, how do i get that back?

we live and work together, we run our own business so getting another job is not an option and i dont want to have to move out

cant really offer any advice... but just wanted to offer you hugs. i lost the butterfly feeling a couple of years ago.... but happy to say it did come back!

Hmmm maybe with living and working together everythings become routine, and not special anymore.
Could try making the effort to go on dates etc! like out for a posh meal every now and again?
08-28-2008, 02:13 PM
insideout

I definitely agree with the date thing. My boyfriend & I spend too much time inside just watching TV and lying around, and it's a lovely change when we take the time to go out somewhere, or when he cooked for me the other day. It helps :D
08-28-2008, 02:13 PM
stinkerbell

Quote:

Originally Posted by FakeFlower

cant really offer any advice... but just wanted to offer you hugs. i lost the butterfly feeling a couple of years ago.... but happy to say it did come back!

Hmmm maybe with living and working together everythings become routine, and not special anymore.
Could try making the effort to go on dates etc! like out for a posh meal every now and again?

yeah we could do that, we went out yesterday and it was good
08-28-2008, 02:14 PM
FakeFlower

Quote:

Originally Posted by stinkerbell

yeah we could do that, we went out yesterday and it was good

good good, glad to hear it.
08-28-2008, 02:16 PM
nightwolf

Definately agree with laura and kate, go on dates, go to the cinema, make an effort to get back out there as though you two have just moved in together :)
08-28-2008, 02:57 PM
Slania

Quote:

Originally Posted by KieraMoon

I actually like being single, and while it was painful breaking up with him last time I felt much better on my own.

But he has some strange power over me. it took me over a month and a lot of patients before I ended it last time. My friends got so fed up with me! I was constantly crying and miserable yet wouldn't end it! If you go back a few million posts on here you'll see gash ad Morphie telling me the same!

While being single would be so much easier, and yes living in fear isn't that great, I just can't end it. in my mind I have to have a really good reason, which is why he has to do something awful before I will. I should of done Sunday, I had the chance but instead of saying 'No, you've broken my heart and ruined my weekend' I'm like 'yea, I'll see you in an hour'

I love him.

Argh.

I know what you mean about the strange power, whenever we had an argument my ex would threaten to end it and even though I knew it'd be better to split, I'd end up begging him not to, it was weirdly manipulative. I just couldn't end it either and when I finally did, it was very messy because now the boot was on the other foot or however the saying goes, he didn't want to break up. We got back together for like half a week and then he dumped me. Guess he felt he had to do it to feel ok. Anyway, I summoned the courage, so I'm sure you can when the time is right. It's great that you like being single, I can't stand not being in a relationship, even if the relationship I'm in isn't working.
08-28-2008, 02:59 PM
gandy

i ahte being single

someone save me
08-29-2008, 02:43 PM
KieraMoon

Quote:

Originally Posted by nightwolf

I'm going to say you need to break up with him. I had this with my ex and know exactly how you feel, whenever he wanted to get back together, there I was perfectly happy to do so even though I knew in the back of my mind that I was fine without him, until he texted/messaged whatever.

A relationship isn't worth having if you are constantly destressed about what and when he is going to hurt you intentionally or not. If you need a reason the above is the right reason, living like that doesn't give you any form of stability at all and that's not what you need. It is obviously your choice and we are here for you to rant, but I think for your own sake it's time to let him go, it's upsetting and it takes time, but you know for yourself that it can work without him, you seem really happy being single and an incredibly strong person!

Thank you :D I like to consider myself a fairly strong person, which is why it gets to me now that I am acting so weak... apparently I'm too nice. But Like I've said before no one else has ever got away with treating me like this, I don't know why I let him!
I hate the fact I still have feelings for him, and wish more than ever that either he'd not sent me the I miss you text or I'd not replied!

Thanks again hun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starless_dark

I know what you mean about the strange power, whenever we had an argument my ex would threaten to end it and even though I knew it'd be better to split, I'd end up begging him not to, it was weirdly manipulative. I just couldn't end it either and when I finally did, it was very messy because now the boot was on the other foot or however the saying goes, he didn't want to break up. We got back together for like half a week and then he dumped me. Guess he felt he had to do it to feel ok. Anyway, I summoned the courage, so I'm sure you can when the time is right. It's great that you like being single, I can't stand not being in a relationship, even if the relationship I'm in isn't working.

I think for me because I lost a large part of my teens to being in a relationship I've still got a lot of single living to do before I settle down, if that makes sense?
I don't know what it is about Jon though, he's not amazingly bright, or the fittest of blokes but he just makes me laugh and I always (generally) enjoy the short times I have with him. It's just when we are apart... and that is most of the time. He doesn't text very much, he's not hugely expressive (he sends me one words texts, argh!) and after what happened at the weekend... just shows me he's still never going to put me first.

EDIT: I'm trying to sort out Monday night because it's his birthday Tuesday and I want to take him out. Ergh! Has take about 10 texts of him just repeating the same stuff at me and I'm still no more wiser as to what's happening! He might be starting a new job, he doesn't know what time he finishes, he might not get to mine till 9. I suggest he can have a shower and stuff here and all I get back was 'yup'. ARGH!!! And now I've asked him a direct question where he has to commit to yes or no he wont text me back for 3 hours!
08-29-2008, 11:42 PM
Youki-Hi

Kiera I hate non answering of texts, it's so annoying. Like how long does it take to text something with a bit of thought? A minute...if that. Jeez.

I'm sorry I'm going to gush. Over 7 months now (7 months is the normal point in my relationships where it all breaks down) and we're still as good as ever if not better. We have such a laugh together and we still have intimacy and I can really tell him anything and I feel so supported. Also he's so honest...if he thinks I'll be upset at something, he'll still say it, so that when he says he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful I'll believe it...I honestly think this might be it. Crazy.
08-29-2008, 11:44 PM
archon_113

Like omg youki stop going on about how good your relationship is. I'm like totally gonna ignore you now.