General Relationship Thread

Yep, I agree with Masinor. Is it actually the brother that you like or is just that you are unhappy with your current boyfriend and are being tempted elsewhere?

This could potentially be a very damaging situation for all involved, I would make sure that I was 100% sure what I felt and wanted before I did anything at all or said anything to anyone.

Maybe take some time out from the shared house, your boyfriend and his brother. If you are away from them both and have time to think, it might make things clearer?

Good luck, I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be.

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Originally Posted by sophiya

Ok...so what do you do when you realise you're falling for your boyfriends brother (who you also live with) and last night he confessed the same?

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http://www.tmcentertainment.co.uk/im...JeremyKyle.jpg

My relationship seems to be doing my head in, he's just irritating me because he dictates my moods he seems to decide when I'm grumpy and when I'm not and appanrelty I'm constantly grumpy I get spoken to like I'm a child or an idiot or both and when I pull him up on it I get crap back off him I'm losing my mind and I need to hit something. Doesn't understand how much him telling me how I feel does my head in, I've given up now if he says I'm in a mood then fine I'm in a bloody mood, few days ago I woke up in a really good mood and he told me I was being weird and he didn't like ffs sorry I just won't be happy!!!!

He sounds pretty controlling from what you've said there

He's never been like it before he went weird over the weekend i went to my mum and dads and he stayed here because he had to revise for a computer exam so I went without him. I'll admit I'm moody but I'd much rather he didn't just announce how I feel. I'm rubbish with feeling so will normally seems grumpy and a cow all the time when there usually more to it after nearly two years he doesn't seem to have worked that out yet.

It sounds pretty weird that he's suddenly gone like that. Have you asked him if there's owt wrong?

Yeah he says nothing every single time. When he got back from getting some petrol for his bike I talked to him and told him he's annoying me we had a bit of an arguement but theres so much more I'm incredibly unhappy in my job and I've told him that so I told in frank terms that is it really getting to me and I hate it he doesn't seem to be to grasp how badly it is effecting me which I don't think is unusual because only people at my work understand how unhappy I actually am there it's hard to convey in words so perhaps its just that. I'll admit I'm kinda jealous of him, he works in an area he loves, he enjoys, he understands. He's made great friends and has fantastic prospects for promotion and high earnings whereas I have nothing at all like that. It's like two completely different worlds.

We've talked a lot about the future and moving back to Portsmouth which feels me with complete and utter hope and joy, but I will only go back if he's coming with me.

It's over.

I thought things had been going so well the last few weeks. He seemed much happier and was singing and dancing like he used to. Still no sex but I figure that will come with time.

But then he went to London on Tuesday night with work. I assumed he was going with Martyn, his boss, but he when I asked who he was going with he sounded embarassed when he told me it was Steph from his work. When he was away I just felt something wasn't right and for some on Wednesday, around the time he'd have been driving home from the airport, I checked his facebook messages. I should never have done it but something told me to and I did. I found a message to a friend saying:

"We've been less that happy since christmas (and before probably) but it became more noticeable when I met someone new. I spoke to Emma and told her how I was feeling, but missed out the bit above but she is determinded to "fix" us. When tried to have a break the other week, but lasted one day. Emma was so upset and I'm too soft, I can't see her upset, so she came home. So, now there is a love triangle thing going on... well, not really but a mini one in my head! I'm trapped."

Clearly I freaked out and called him and told him to get home NOW. He did and I told him to explain himself. He says nothings happened between them but he fancies her and he has done for about 3 months. He says he wouldn't do anything with her but he feels that if he fancies someone else it's a clear sign our relationship isn't working out. Also, the lack of "romance and sex" is bothering him, along with the fact we sometimes argue because we don't have much in common - he feels that my friends are better suited to me than him because we like the same music and hobbies.

I tried and tried to tell him the things he feels are normal. Nobody would get on if we all liked the same things. We'll have been together 3 years on the 27th June. Every couple has ruts they get into but they work them out. He says he doesn't see a future for us because he has no idea HOW to work the problems out. He's a very private person and when I suggested counselling as a couple he got angry and said no. I told him that hurts me because he would refuse to try something like that for the sake of us. He just kept shutting down, closing his eyes and turning his back to me.

I don't know what to to do. I'm so devastated. It's like my heart has been ripped out. He's my soul mate and I thought I was his. He even told me in a text the other day, when I was upset about him ignoring me and I went to the stables, that he was "not angry, just depressed"

Yet when I've suggested to him that he has all the signs of depression and should get some help he refuses. He denies he's depressed, he says it's the relationship making him down but really it's the depression ruining the relationship, in his head anyway. He says he's not a kid and he won't be able to talk to anyone about it because he can barely talk to me.

I need help. I don't know what to do. I've contacted a few of his friends that he listens to and made them promise not to tell him I told them or he'd be angry. He even got angry when I told my mum about it, despite the fact it's her that I'm now back living with. One of his friends has been no help and seemed to only bring up the negative parts of our past when talknig to him on the phone. Which is really not what he needs right now. He needs reassurance that things can get better, not reminded of how bad things are.

I'm sorry for the essay. I just need someone to talk to right now. I don't want to get my hopes up about him ever coming back to me but I can't help thinking how I can change his mind. I've already texted him 4 times today. I don't know whether being alone or having my reassurance of my love is the best option for him right now :(

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. I am in a long term relationship and could not imagine how devastating it would be to hear him say things like that.

It sounds like you still have a lot to say to him. Why don't you write him a really long letter telling him how you feel, ask him to read it and then give him some space. I really don't wish to sound mean but you can't force someone to love you or be with you. The best thing you can do is tell them how you feel and then leave it to them to decide.

Sometimes relationships end, whether both parties want them to or not. I understand that you have been together for a long time but it does sound a tiny bit like you are clinging on to something that maybe just isn't really there anymore? The fact that he confided in his friend about how he felt and about this other girl kinda suggests to me that he has already made a decision.

Good luck, I hope you have some people around you to look after you xx

omfg emma!! *hugs* omfg i read that and I'm crying for you!! I don't get how men can just do that, ffs. Tbh if he's having feelings for someone else, you don't want him back and if he won't TRY to make you two work, it's not worth all the hurt you've put yourself through the last couple of weeks!
If you need anyone to talk to or rant to, my PM box is ALWAYS open.