General Relationship Thread

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Originally Posted by Youki-Hi

I agree with your mum.

He's trying to guilt you into accepting him joining the army without him having to make the decision between his career and you. At the end of the day it's his choice not yours. He should be having to make the difficult call not you.

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I agree with this.

I think first of all, you have to decide for yourself: If he joins the army, could I stay with him? Yes or no?
Then you have to make this clear to him and ask him to then make the decision - what is more important to him? Being in a relationship with you or joining the army?

Is it definitely something that he is set on? Maybe it's just him thinking out loud without realising how upset it has made you?

I've read stuff on here before that you've written about him and it's pretty obvious how much you love each other. Unfortuantely there is no easy, pain-free solution to this situation. You just have to be incredibly honest with each other and accept that you might not like the answers to each others questions. Good luck.

See I live in a garrison town so my opinon of squaddies is very low. They come back and they get drunk and they smash things up and they act like horrible perverts. I understand obviously the mentality, they have nothing to lose, but it's still disgusting to see their behaviour and have it aimed at you.
Considering the job they do, they gain very little respect once you witness what they are like.
To be fair not all are like that, some go home for the few days they are back in england but those that don't = hell. Everyone dreads when the squaddies are back in town.
It's entirely up to him what he does, as everyone else has said. And he can't be that convinced if he keeps bringing it up and has made that little deal with you amy. He should be able to say yes or no and in all honesty he should be looking around for a career path, not expecting someone else to do it.
The army is an easy way out where you don't actually need intelligence. In places like colchester, people join the army because they've got nothing else. You meet thesesquaddies and all they ever say is 'don't join the army, it's s**t' I was told that about 5 times in one night. They all want to get out!
Ash seems to be romanticising it in his mind. It's not all glory. In fact it's not at all.

Off topic slightly and certainly not an attempt to cause drama or offend anyone but in my opinion, there are some slightly insulting generalisations being thrown around about people who join the army.

Yeah there are probably a lot of people in the army who are tw*ats, in the same way that a lot of hairdressers and teachers and bankers and dentists and barmen are probably tw*ats. And yeah, a lot of people join the army to get them out of a bad town, or bad group of friends or whatever. But also, a lot of people do it because they want to travel, want a physically challenging job, want to meet new people, want to experience things that some of us will never see in our lifetime etc.

The British army may become involved in certain conflicts that some people don't agree with but I'm guessing most people would be pretty grateful for our armed forces should anyone decide to target us here in the UK.

I have a lot of family in the army and yes it has been difficult at times. My cousin's wife gave birth to their first child and a week later he flew out to Afghanistan where I think he will be posted for the next six months or so. It's ridiculously hard for his wife and not everyone would chose that kind of life, but she made that choice and she is happy knowing that he is happy.

Again, I know this is slightly off topic, I just wanted to give my opinion - that being in the army isn't a sh*t thing for sh*t people to do.

So things with me and Andy seem to be going well at the moment, though had a bit of a freak out on Sunday after having a conversation about babies which resulted in me starting to cry haha, but we had nice cuddles after that and he said that the fact he'd want to have babies with me shows he'd want to marry me one day and we had a silly discussion about ways for him to propose like in Venice, where we went earlier this year, and decided putting it in my food would be an awful idea because I eat too fast :D

And he told his brother today that we couldn't make it to his on thursday for dinner so we could have lots of 'special times' :D

Little salty with Brandon today because all night last night he was at his friends house playing video games when last weekend he wouldn't stay over one of my good friends house to sleep with me since we can't really anymore. ><
He's still here today which is nice but since he was up all night he's going to sleep a lot of the day and then we might not have time for cake.

No time for cake? A fate worse than death (at least for me)...

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Originally Posted by Scarred_pierced

See I live in a garrison town so my opinon of squaddies is very low. They come back and they get drunk and they smash things up and they act like horrible perverts. I understand obviously the mentality, they have nothing to lose, but it's still disgusting to see their behaviour and have it aimed at you.
Considering the job they do, they gain very little respect once you witness what they are like.
To be fair not all are like that, some go home for the few days they are back in england but those that don't = hell. Everyone dreads when the squaddies are back in town.
It's entirely up to him what he does, as everyone else has said. And he can't be that convinced if he keeps bringing it up and has made that little deal with you amy. He should be able to say yes or no and in all honesty he should be looking around for a career path, not expecting someone else to do it.
The army is an easy way out where you don't actually need intelligence. In places like colchester, people join the army because they've got nothing else. You meet thesesquaddies and all they ever say is 'don't join the army, it's s**t' I was told that about 5 times in one night. They all want to get out!
Ash seems to be romanticising it in his mind. It's not all glory. In fact it's not at all.

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I grew up next door to Aldershot and then moved there for some inexplicable reason, so I know just what a hole military towns can be - it wasn't called Aldersh!t for nothing...

Things are a bit iffy with my boyfriend, too. I think we're stressed over the exams, and the fact we've not been alone together for almost two weeks. He blames his nasty rants on 'sexual frustration'. I feel he is taking his stress out on me, and I'm doing exactly the same... its just so difficult to keep him happy sometimes. He just KNOWS how to irritate me and sometimes I swear he does it on purpose, yet whenever I snap at him for it he goes all moody and wont talk to me until I say sorry and basically beg him to look at me o.o

Hopefully when he comes over next week we'll see eachother as we usually do and all this bitterness will go out the window. I'm really hoping so. He knows he can say anything to me because I wont break up with him, but I'm fed up with being his emotional punchbag.

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Originally Posted by gekko

I grew up next door to Aldershot and then moved there for some inexplicable reason, so I know just what a hole military towns can be - it wasn't called Aldersh!t for nothing...

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The worst thing is, colchester is a really nice town, really beautiful and all historical, being the largest roman town or something lol but when the squaddies are about, esp at night, it can be quite intimidating, with fights breaking out everywhere, it just makes the town look crap.

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Originally Posted by gekko

No time for cake? A fate worse than death (at least for me)...

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Yeah I was pretty teed off, but my parents are leaving again for a couple hours so there may be hope yet!