So, given that the topic that started in the general relationship thread got deleted, do people care to share their thoughts and views on the subject of parenthood here in this thread??
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So, given that the topic that started in the general relationship thread got deleted, do people care to share their thoughts and views on the subject of parenthood here in this thread??
Some years ago, I was adament that I didn't want kids. Absolutely against the whole idea. That was when I was focused on "career mode".
Now that's all gone to sh!t, I've had some time to re-evaluate my life, and I can honestly say now that I would like kids in the future. Not ready yet, but maybe in a couple of years.
Then, I remember that they grow into teenagers... argh...
I was very similar, didn't want kids didn't like babies at all, thought of vomit and poo made me gag but it's like something clicked in me. I want to be a mum and ideally I want three kids. I turn to mush when I see a cute child. Like the 5 year old boy on the microsoft advert I just want to steal him with his little cheeky face! And his rabbit called sausage. :biggrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubycherry
I don't worry about how things would be when they hit the teenage years I can only do my best at the end of the day. My parents did well with me and my brother we didn't rebel too much so I plan to follow by example and just wish when the time comes.
When I was a teenager I was undecided. I made the decision that I'd only have children if I really wanted them because so many people just have kids because they feel like they should because it's what everyone does. To me that's not a reason, you should want kids or not have them at all. I've always been great with kids, they tend to love me and I tend to get on well with them but this still didn't seem like reason enough.
When my niece was born I realised that I frigging love kids. I want like 5 of them or something mental like that. I love the whole big family thing and I can't wait to have a messy noisy house full of little ones. I've got good genes I want to pass onto the next generation, I'm good with children, I know I'll do my best by them and I want to bring up little children and see them turn into brilliant adults. I'm planning on waiting a few years until I'm financially stable and my relationship is nice and stable and has been for years. Then I'll start bringing a horde of sproglets onto this planet. Can't wait.
I think I will have a child/children one day - I don't have a set plan of where/when, I'd rather just "let it happen" for the time being, though perhaps when I'm older I may actively want a baby.
This was a bit of a revelation to me, as when I was younger I was completely put off by children - couldn't hold a baby, wouldn't babysit for anyone I knew (though If they had any sense of protection for their child they wouldn't have asked me anyway :P)and swore I'd have an abortion if I fell pregnant. I know, for my part, this was just immaturity and youth in hindsight. I always thought those girls and women who coo over babies and who have strong maternal instincts were completely mad, and a bit gross. Now, although I'll admit I'm certainly not baby mad, and in no rush whatsoever for a baby at 22, I'd love to have one in my 30s. I can't imagine how proud of my baby I'd be if it was taking its first steps, speaking its first words, not to mention growing into a fully humanoid child-being!
In short - I don't think I'll ever be immersed in baby-fever, and I won't have a bunch of them, but I'd like to contribute my part into making another being. The thought's actually pretty fascinating now, instead of terrifying.
I don't want kids cause I don't really like children, they're expencive, they're trouble, they annoy me & I don't think I want that responsibility ever. Other than that theres the point that I don't really want my kids living in a world that isn't really going to last much longer & especially one as violent as this.
I much prefer non-human animals. they're easier to live with & care for & they're cheaper & more interesting to look after. to me anyway ehnce me studying animal care/management at college. Give me an animal & I know exactly how to look after it. Give me a human child & I wouldn't have a clue.
I don't dislike children. I will never have my own children. I don't believe that with the world the way it is now that it's fair to bring a child into it. Personally I think the human race is going to face a huge shift, and very testing times that will either wipe us out or alter our way of living distractly in my life time; and I would consider myself very selfish to bring a child into that.
Also, I want to experience my own life without the tie of children in it. I wish to travel, and live in uninhibited for as long as I possibly can. People will tell me that I can do that with kids in my life I'm sure, but I just don't agree.
I suppose my final reason is just simply that I do not want to be a mother. The concept and idea of being pregnant repulses me. The idea of raising a child is not in the least attractive to me. I would consider it a massive hinderance and burden on my life, so I am NOT someone who should have children.
I think there's too many kids out there who need good parenting and never get it. I would not be able to live without myself if I produced another one. Some people might not think that it's their responsibility to look after these unwanted/uncared for children because they aren't theirs and it's not their fault - but I think that it is the responsiblity of everyone to help the helpless. For me, the only livable scenario, would be adoption when I am much much older (i.e. old enough to be a grandmother)- but I'm not sure I see that happening either.
Cut and pasted from the other thread:
"The human race will benefit from my failure to reproduce. I have too many defective genes, and it would be cruel to inflict them on my offspring. Furthermore, I believe it would be cruel to bring a child into a world this greedy, corrupt and prejudiced.
... Although this is just my belief and I have no problem with anyone that wants children...
(As long as they keep the kids away from me when they're shrieking :) )
I think there are plenty of people who shouldn't be allowed to have a family... I have my doubts that I'd ever make a good mother, and therefore it would be selfish and ill-conceived for me to try. As the unstable, self-centred, attention-seeking, asexual headf*** that I am...
When I was a pre-teen, my mother once told me never to have any children incase they turned out like me. When I was a pre-teen, I decided that I'd never have children incase I treated them like she had."
At the moment, I can't imagine ever getting pregnant or giving birth. Children scare me, a lot. The thought of being pregnant or giving birth scares me even more. In the future if I did want children, I think I'd much rather adopt or foster.
I want kids sometime in the future lol obv not to soon haha but would have to live somewhere like where i live now nice and quiet cant be dealing with big citys and kids that will kill you for a lolly also i think it would be good to adopt then i can keep my mrs in tact lmao there's already to many children in this world no point in bringing in another one.
*holds knife to Ollie*
hand over the lolly....now.
see what i meen even the internet isnt safe in our day and age against these youths :tongue:
I never used to care too much, until I doctor told me getting pregnant in the future could be an issue.
Now I cant wait until I have kids! I got attached to my electronic baby so much I cried when I had to give her back. I cant imagine living my life without children and cant wait to be a mum :)
Not remotely interested to be honest. Sounds harsh but, I've got my life to focus on, and I don't want anyone to carry on my name, take care of me when I'm older, see grow up etc, anything like that.
The problem is, I'm too....I know what I like, I know what I wanna do, and I know how I want my life to go, and so far everything seems to be going the way I'm planning, so for that to be thrown out of the window for a sprog? Na, not for me.
This would likely be more of an issue if I could get a girl for the life of me, however seen as though the opposite sex treat me like a leper, I think I'm safe from any "accidents" which would change this
I never wanted kids but fate decided otherwise, even with taking full precautions (a split condom and two yes two morning after pills) i have a 12 yr old son and now my wife who was on the pill is expecting my second in December!! I would nt change things though, kids remove a lot of options in your life but they also make you view yourself and the world in a very different light so swings and roundabouts really.
I'm undecided and in no rush to make any decisions as my feelings could change but I know for the moment I wouldn't want kids, I'm only 20 years old and definitely don't feel ready for a baby, and am 100% sure that I would have an abortion if I was to fall pregnant.
But who knows what the future holds? I probably will have a baby eventually (once I get over the whole 'what do I do with this thing??' fear of babies) but the thought scares the crap out of me.
For quite a few years to come I will be more, if not completely, satisfied with just having cats :D
+1Quote:
Originally Posted by .Only.Streetlights.
Depends, really. At times I don't mind kids, at times I hate them so much. The hate tends to be when I'm thinking of kittens, they make me so mad.
Me and my friend had an argument about kids when we out to dinner one night, not so much over whether we wanted them or not but what we'd do if we fell pregnant now (us being 20/21 and being in the middle of a degree).
She was determined that if she did she'd have an abortion whereas I said I'd keep it and so it went on with her saying that I was anti-abortion and that I'd look down on anyone who had one etc etc. This isn't true, I just meant that I personally wouldn't have one no matter if I got pregnant now and I wouldn't disapprove of anyone having one because it is their decision (besides that one of our friends had had one in the previous year and I'd been the only one she'd confided in about it).
She also said that if I decided to keep it now I could never provide it financially and what life would it have, plus it'd completely cock up my degree. True, I said, but it didn't mean I'd love it any less and I'd try my hardest for it, that my parents hadn't had a lot of money and me and my sister had turned out ok and degrees can be put on hold etc etc.
This all said a near miss earlier this year did make me re-evaluate what I'd previously thought.
I've always wanted kids, whether they come earlier or later. I just hope I can have them in the future.
I'm so glad I'm not the only person not interested in having children. I thought I was alone til I read this here.
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Originally Posted by .Only.Streetlights.
I agree with Caz. I do not feel at all maternal. When I try and think about having my own child, I just can't see it. It doesn't interest me at all. I can't say why, because I don't know. I just have no feelings towards being a mother.
Pets however, I want LOTS of! Fluffy kitties and doggies and ferrets and monkeys I would love to have lots of!
I always wanted kids :)
I was helping my mum look after my little sister from the age of 10 and basically raised my other little sister when I was 15 so to me having kids was just part of life I never even thought about not having kids.
I got pregnant at 20 and was so excited about it but that ended up as an ectopic pregnancy which was very very scarey, after that it took me and my hubby nearly 3 years to conceive and was only when we started having tests to find out why I wasn't getting pregnant that I feel pregnant :)
After that I really wanted more kids had my son 2 years later and after him decided I didn't want to have anymore kids and was going to have my tubes tied but my hubby was very nice and said he'd have the snip instead as he is older than me and the procedure is easier from a man than a woman.
I still get broody but the thought of being pregnant again actually makes me feel sick which is a strange feeling and sounds really horrible but can't help how I feel
When it comes to kiddos there's more cons than pros by a long shot. My dad wasn't around a lot when my brother was growing up so since I was 9 I've always helped with him, and it's just been more hassle than worth. Babies and kids up to the age of about 11 are disgusting and I can't bear the thought of cleaning up after them, and after that they'll get annoying. I don't even wanna be pregnant really, the thought creeps me out
No.
Unfortunetly since I was well a baby myself I've never ever had the desire to be a mum, I was always the tomboy and played with boys toys and had no interest in dolls or barbies. As I got older this no turned into a hell no and a deep paranoia and phobia. I can't look at a pregnant woman without feeling awful.
Its a shame because I do like kids, I find toddlers fascinating, I'd love to be an aunt to have my sister to have a kid. But I couldn't physically have one myself and I doubt I ever will, I've not had that maternally instinct or desire to hold a baby or to even aww at baby shoes.
I'm very for abortion, I believe if a person doesn't want to have a child for whatever reason if the technology is their they should be able to do so, I don't believe it should be used as a contreception however.
When I was younger I always said I'd never have kids, but I think most of the time it was to spite my mother when she used the 'Someday when you have kids you'll understand' card.
As time went on though, I realized I would eventually have them.
Not for another 7 years at least, but I will.
I don't want a lot though, only 2, and before I do I want to enjoy my marriage first.
I dont want children. My bro has a little 2 year old who is very cute etc but if anything he's just re-enforced the fact that i couldnt possibly look after him. The responsibilty is far too much for soemone like me to cope with.
Maybe when im older i might foster some older children but we'll see.
I do not want childern. I don't mind babies but kids I really don't like. I'm not a kid person, I have enough problems looking after myself nevermind a child. Also if I change my mind in the future then I will not under any circumstances have my own i'm adopting. That has more to do with my dysphoria though...
Cats beat babies any day. Cats = Awwwh... Babies = Eww...Quote:
Originally Posted by Felidae
I never liked babies or little kids and always said I never wanted any. Then when I was in my late 20s my other half was very keen on the idea so I went along with it and had two kids, three years apart. The early years were really tough and I suffered badly from depression, but now they are teenagers they're great and I love them lots. (Shame I can't say the same about my other half :mad:)
I was down the pub a short while back with a friend. A lass who used to work behind the bar was in with her new baby and the folk who own the pub had a new puppy ... my friend and I fought over whose turn it was to cuddle the puppy :biggrin:
The thought of a child growing inside me makes me feel sick x)
And the thought of vaginal tearing..
Aside from that, I'm the eldest of 7 and I'm really, really not a kid person >< I don't know if that's going to change, I'm 16, I have no idea how I'll feel in a few years, but right now, DO NOT WANT.
Finally - someone else who thinks pregancy is gross. all i can think of is some sort of alien larvae growing inside me - just waiting to come bursting out. *shudder*Quote:
The thought of a child growing inside me makes me feel sick x)
Me too. I find it totally terrifying. I'm not completely against the idea of having kids but pregnancy and childbirth scare the hell out of me, it's like my worst nightmare, I honestly can't imagine ever doing it. I'd much rather adopt, if I do decide I want children in the future. Especially after seeing some of the kids who are in foster care at my boyfriends house waiting around for months/years for someone to adopt them.Quote:
Originally Posted by DreadfulFaeryFalls
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds pregnancy truly terrifying. When I describe to people around me they find it 'weird'.
I would love to foster kids if I had the room and my kids were older
My auntie has a phobia of pregnancy. Id love to be pregnant, its one of the appeals of having kids for me.
I have two kids and while I love them I wish I hadn't have them as soon as I had. However, I wouldn't change it for the world. Through no fault of anyone, their father and I divorced and they live in Washington with him, and our collective families.
Personally, I always knew I'd have kids and I wish to have more in the future whether they're my own or adopted.
Oh it must be wonderful, being pregnant and having a baby with someone you love... but still. I know I'm a terrible person but I really don't want strechmarks so I don't know! I'm pretty sure I'll adopt a child with my man from somewhere though, don't know if I'll get any of my own. Maybe just one.
My stretchmarks are all nearly gone really. If you use cocoa butter, it helps keep them minimal actually. But being pregnant is wonderful, and I loved it. And hell, I even had problems with mine, but I'd still never trade the experience.
both my pregnancies were a good experience apart from my baby boy being so big that I was in alot of pelvic and back pain.
I heard stretch marks are inherited from your mother so if your mum had alot of stretch marks during pregnancy then you are likely to
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Originally Posted by pinkvix
My son was smaller than my daughter, I carried him really high too. He caused me all the issues. lol But I learned to not be so uptight with every little thing with my daughter.
And my mom didn't have stretchmarks except with my younger brother, but I got lots. Weird.
I was put even more of by the fact that my friend, who was expecting twins, had her hips pop out their sockets!! The strain and the position of the babies made it happen.
Ouchies.
Plus i get nauseus all the time just randomly, never mind morning sickeness, it would be a puke-orama