Need persuasion for a PA, lorum and/or guiche (when can I remove briefly for sex?)

Let me start out by saying for the past 10 years I’ve been intrigued by a PA piercing. Recently when thinking more seriously about it and not sure if I can put my penis through that yet, I have become fond of lorum and guiche piercings. They seem a little more out of the way. Most days I now think about having all 3. Sheesh! I should also point out I have no piercings and don’t think I’d ever get any visible ones.

so here is what is holding me back and hopefully some insight can help shed some light on things.

1. I am married. My wife is not into piercings. Not the slightest. I have mentioned many many years ago about the idea of a PA and she would be okay with me doing whatever, but wouldn’t want to have sex with pierced penis. I realize this could change, but for now I have to consider the possibility of removing them for intimacy. I feel I could leave a guiche in, but the other two would be the ones she’d see. From what I have read people have sex with these piercings before they are “fully healed.” People talk of having sex a month after a PA piercing, but not being fully healed for 6 months for example. Can you only remove the piercing for an hour or so once it is “fully healed” or say after a month or two can you remove it briefly? What would this exercise look like if I had to remove for sex?


2. I have not been overally thrilled with someone working on that area of me. I feel like I am past this since I had a vasectomy a month ago and that was 10 minutes of awkwardness. Check this hurdle off the list. I think I only now feel a little awkward going in with no ink or piercings and asking for 1-3 extreme ones.


3. I am a bit of a wimp with pain and squeamish with hospital stuff. I don’t know what to expect and know it will be quick but having no piercings and making that sensitive area my first is an intense thought holding me back too.



so... if I can convince myself to power through with this I have a great window coming up. I will be off work for 3 weeks. My wife will be away for 6 weeks for work and it really allows me to do this for myself, heal up some while she is gone and not have to deal with her confused looks when I am performing the healing maintenance. In a perfect world I see her going away, me getting pierced, her returning and sex life doesn’t skip too much of a beat as I might already be able to remove briefly for sex. Is this realistic of me to think?

I last considered this while she was pregnant and chickened out. This seems like the last good opportunity to do this for myself.

Finally, if I can convince myself to do this, am I ridiculous to consider getting the PA, lorum and guiche all at the same time? I’d rather get it all out of the way, heal them at the same time, deal with pushing myself to do it once and not have to deal with my wife seeing me do this 3x.

Thanks for any advice.

Hi Davemeddows,
Let's try and pass on my own experiences in the same order as above...

1. Personally I wouldn't remove the piercing until a fully healed fistula has formed and thickened up. Even then only for a few minutes at smaller gauges as the fistula can shrink back very quickly and unless you are competent with a taper then it may mean a visit back to your piercer asap. Having said that everyone body reacts differently which includes healing time.
From an intimacy pov…. You can engage in sex as soon as you feel comfortable with no post piercing pain, swelling or bruising. Some use theirs in as little as 2 weeks although I would recommend longer to minimise trauma. Take it slowly, STOP if it hurts and ALWAYS always always use a condom whilst healing! Body fluids contain many bacteria which should be barriered from what is essentially an open wound. Immediately after the deed you must clean it and take a pee asap. Peeing will clean the inside. Clearly you are communicating with you partner which is great and should be encouraged if it is likely to effect any intimate practices. At the smaller gauges (thicknesses of jewellery) it is unlikely to make much difference to sexual experience but if you gauge up (increase thickness) further down the line then the larger jewellery can enhance the experience, significantly in some instances but this is down to anatomy and really is for you both to experiment with as time passes. There are many types of jewellery which can be tried or worn in a healed PA so you would need to find what works for you and the wife if she wants to try. Screw in balls (internally threaded) are quick and easily removed where as traditional BCR's (Ball Closure Rings) snap the ball into position and whilst secure they can be more fiddly needing opening pliers in some instances. It is always worth investing in high quality jewellery for safety, health and look.
At the end of the day.... you will never know intimately speaking unless you try. :)

2. A professional piercer whether male or female should be able to make you confident, comfortable and at ease with their advice about the procedure. They have great respect for anybody getting a piercing whether it is a simple ear lobe piercing or a genital piercing. Do your research and find one that is competent in genital piercings. Remember that an excellent piercer fitting implant grade, highly polished titanium jewellery (curved bar or BCR) will assess your anatomy and recommend what they feel will be the best way forward. They will answer any questions for you no matter how silly you may think they are. This is what they do and they've heard it all many times. :)

3. The PA is an excellent first choice and one of the quickest to heal. The initial heal 8-12 weeks with full fistula heal generally 6-12months (before any stretching mods). This is dependant on the individual's healing abilities and influence of any other medical conditions. It can be performed on the cut (circumcised) and the uncut (foreskin permitting) and will be confirmed at your consult with the piercer. It is often initially pierced with a gauge 10g (2.4mm), maybe thicker 8g (3.2mm) but can be pierced at a thinner 12g (2mm) but this increases the chances of migration by cheese wiring or ultimately losing the piercing. Personally I enjoyed the whole experience once sitting in the chair. The procedure was over in about 20 seconds for me (two deep breaths in and slow release out). My piercer was very calm and she carried out the piercing whilst keeping me relaxed. I wouldn't say it was painful in my case but felt more like a sharp pinch. It is unfortunately often a big bleeder. I bled for about 36 hours, on and off (thank goodness for Tena Men :D), so best not to take any painkillers that thin blood like aspirin or can reduce clotting like ibuprofen if it's not part of a doctor prescribed medication for your health until any possible bleeding has stopped. It was recommended to eat healthily, drink plenty of water to dilute acidity in the urine and refrain from caffeine & alcohol for 2 weeks. I have never had any problems with the PA. It was awesome!! :D

I got my Lorum at the same time as the PA. I do love it but it is of no use other than aesthetics. Don't even know it's there really. It can take 12-18 weeks to heal or in my case over a year. They are more prone to migration and rejection being a surface type piercing. 10 seconds, no real pain, job done so quite an easy one and a good starting point for future frenum or scrotal ladder. ;)

A Guiche can only be worn if you are anatomically suited to it. In some circumstances it can be rotated through 90degrees to accommodate. They can take 4-9 months to heal and sometimes much longer. They too are prone (possibly more so) to migration and rejection issues being another surface piercing. They can be done a little deeper sometimes to minimise the risk of losing. They can provide a little pleasure for you as it can be quite an erogenous zone for some but only play or touch it when fully healed. Those I know who have a Guiche absolutely love them :D

Hope this essay helps you decide one way or the other. Best case JUST DO IT and see how it goes for both of you. Worst case (if done) then retire the piercing and let it heal over. :D

Hey TikiMan,

Thanks so much for the very detailed responses and person experience. I have been doing a lot of reading lately and I am starting to move past the worry of pain. A lot of accounts commenting on it not being bad at all.

Like I said I am kind of comfortable with the idea of someone working down there since I recently went through that with my vasectomy.

I think my final hold up is really just dealing with the wife not understanding me wanting to do this. Again, she is not going to say don't do it, but she has said she doesn't want to have sex with a hunk of metal down there. I know that could change, but if she was excited about it I know she would also be patient with the healing and ready to engage with some metal down there once things were comfortable enough -- i could then feel more comfortable with taking the plunge.

I however feel pretty confident that she won't want to engage in anything until I can take things out for having sex. It is one thing to wait 6-8 weeks to have things comfortable enough for sex, but another having to wait 3-6 months to have sex because she might want them removed. So now, not only would she not understand me wanting to jam a piece of metal down there, but now I would be interrupting our sex life for a longer period of time. I am now just trying to anticipate how things might look after 6 weeks when she returns from her work trip. Will she suddenly be game for sex with a different piece of equipment or will she be super grossed out and want to wait for when things can be removed down there and if so how long will I be inconveniencing our sex life for...

Bwahh! It seems like a huge ordeal to go through to kind of impact our relationship in an unknown potentially negative way. If I could snap my fingers and have the piercings right now to have them healed and inserted when I want, removed when I want -- our relationship wouldn't skip a beat.

Thanks again for the detailed testimonial. PS, I had to lookup what Tena Men is... I can deal with some bleeding, more of a pain wuss. Is the bleeding really that intense?

My wife goes away next week so I am feeling the pressure to make a decision soon. If I go ahead I am leaning towards a PA and lorum at the same time, but maybe leave the guiche. It does sound like some mixed receptions on healing from what I have ready. It is also something I could add later once I know what getting a piercing is like and it wouldn't interrupt our relationship much in the event she was not going away creating a window for me.

Cheers.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by davemeddows

Hey TikiMan,

Thanks again for the detailed testimonial. PS, I had to lookup what Tena Men is... I can deal with some bleeding, more of a pain wuss. Is the bleeding really that intense?
Cheers.

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Your very welcome Davemeddows,
Bleeding is very common with PA's so be prepared. The Tena Men style pads save blood stained underwear but many guys I know have pinched there wife's sanitary towels for the same purpose. On saying that I do also know one guy who barely bled at all so you never know.

I didn't even tell my other half until I picked her up from her tattoo session. I dropped her off in the morning and thought....mmmm....I think I'll go and get a PA. So I drove 20 miles to my preferred piercers studio and ended up with a Lorum & PA :D. I told her whilst we were walking up the high street from the tattoo studio where she proceeded to laugh very loudly all the way back to the car. She couldn't wait to see it when we got home so we both compared mods (tattoos & piercings). I knew she'd be fine with anyway and she still is now.
At the end of the day it's up to you whether to get it done or not. Nobody else can make that decision for you.
As I said previously you can always retire the piercing. It would heal up pretty quick at the size of an initial piercing.

Hope you do get it done for your sake but good luck whatever your decision. :)

I'll put down my experience here as it might be helpful for you but nobody here can advise you to do it or not - that's up to you to decide.

When I had my PA it was the first time I'd ever had a piercing, so I understand how it is a bit daunting. I remember feeling both apprehensive and excitement.

Initially my wife was horrified at the thought of it (she doesn't even have pierced ears) and tried to talk me out of it. I told her when I was getting it done, it was important for me to share this with her and she was supportive as she knew it was important to me.

Pain wise, it did hurt as you'd expect but not for long at all.

If you do get a PA, stretching eventually to a thicker gauge will make it much more comfortable. Make sure you buy the proper ring opening pliers; I did that from the outset and I'm pleased I did.

When I had it done, it was botched and because this was all new to me I didn't know what to expect. However I knew something wasn't right so I went to another piercer who explained the correct placement and he did it for me and he got it exactly right. Unfortunately I had some bleeding in the piercing studio but it stopped a few hours later and all was fine. I had a captive ball ring (I think 16mm x 2mm) and that was fine. After a couple of months I bought a taper and stretched to 3.2mm. After time this was repeated until I reached 5mm when I got a ring of a much smaller diameter for a nice snug fit which I liked a lot. I wore that for several years and absolutely loved it.

As far as sex is concerned, my wife surprised me by being quite keen to see what it was like with the ring in. We both enjoyed it and I think it made sex more pleasurable (definitely for me) but this could be a case of my imagination.

I have surprised myself by enjoying the whole process. That's thinking about a piercing, reading about it on this forum, then deciding where and when to get it done, then the actual piercing and healing afterwards. Each piercing has been a really nice experience and I would never have expected this. I liked getting my PA done so much I had my nipples pierced afterwards (now that is painful!). So if you're anything like me, your PA might be the first of many piercings.

I don't have my PA or nipples pierced anymore, a long personal story and I do miss them.

Hope all of this is helpful to you.

Thanks very much Mat for taking the time to share some insight. My time is getting close to having to make a decision.

Ok, so I guess there is a chance of me chickening out, but I just booked my appointment for next Wednesday. Let's hope I don't talk myself out of it.

Good for you Dave :D
Hope it goes well. Feel free to jump on here again if you have any further queries and we'll try and help out. ;)

Hope it goes well.

From a female perspective, I think a PA defo adds something. Hope your wife finds it the same.

Thanks Miss Fi and TikiMan. I kind of had a moment of let's just do this last night, closing my eyes and hitting 'book' telling myself I'll deal with the 'are you sure' self-reflection afterwards. I kind of thought I'd wake up a bit more nervous about it, knowing it's a bit more real, but I kind of feel like I don't need to spend energy thinking about it now and kind of feel more calm about the things I was nervous about for now. We will see what I feel like on the day of.