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  • Originally posted by Coraz0ndeOro View Post
    Wow, that sounds tiny! My place is 800 square feet, the living room is absolutely massive and it's connected to the kitchen so it's a big open space. I had a two-story two-bedroom place before this that was probably more square feet but this place feels so much bigger just because of the way it's laid out. Love it.
    yeah, the living room is small but the kitchen is attached with no doors and the bedroom has huge double doors we just leave them open so it is actually a decent size.... until you start closing doors haha! We're moving to a 2 bed place again in the next couple of months though which will be awesome.

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    • I've had two boyfriends, both were fairly serious (one was a year & a half, the other was nearly 3 years) but unfortunately both of them had mental health problems that made a happy healthy relationship difficult.

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      • Originally posted by redraven View Post
        Keep thinking on that one. No one is perfect, I've done/said things in the past I know was out of order but at the end of the day it's not a good situation for anyone to be in, on any side and in my case with a child in the mix as well.

        It's not nice when you keep realising and realising things, I did it for months on end and all it did was consistently validate my decision.
        I don't think it really matters the amount of time away from someone, I have been in a great relationship for almost 2yrs, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about all the stuff that happened to me in a relationship with a guy who physically abused me or from one who mentally and verbally did. Its been 6yrs since I put Kirk in Jail for CDV and he beat me into the hospital, it took loosing twins at 5 months pregnant for me to realize no matter how much I loved him and tried to help him he would never change, and he is still in jail for CDV. Cole on the other hand it will be 4 yrs in august, it took him going to jail for me leave him, jail is where he confessed his love for herion, pills and other women. I supported him and he used my money to whore around, when he was home he was sick and always quick to tell me how I was stupid, ugly, fat and a whore. I guess a guility conscience really does speak first. But still after all these years I still remember how I would try to convience myself that it was my fault, because I didn't love them enough, didn't care enough, couldn't help them enough. When really intruely they never really loved or cared about me enough to treat me the way I deserved to be treated. I don't regret what I have been through, at 23 I have been through alot, but its how I know that I am strong, smart, beautiful and funny. Its how I know that know matter what they said it was lies and none of it was true, its how I know that good men exsist. They were life changing experiences that taught never to be a door mat, never let someone knock you down and convience you your worthless, never let someone strip you of every part of who you are. Someone who loves and cares about you will never try to do any of those things bc they will accept you, your past, your present and your future for what is, your life and they will be glad to be a part of it. David doesn't make me who I am, but he is the contribution to what makes our relationship great and I am thankful that he was my best friend when Cole destroyed everything I was, he saw the hurt but he helped me heal. There are great men out there and when they find us you best believe they know they're the lucky ones to have such strong women.

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        • Originally posted by Nicole<3 View Post
          I don't think it really matters the amount of time away from someone, I have been in a great relationship for almost 2yrs, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about all the stuff that happened to me in a relationship with a guy who physically abused me or from one who mentally and verbally did. Its been 6yrs since I put Kirk in Jail for CDV and he beat me into the hospital, it took loosing twins at 5 months pregnant for me to realize no matter how much I loved him and tried to help him he would never change, and he is still in jail for CDV. Cole on the other hand it will be 4 yrs in august, it took him going to jail for me leave him, jail is where he confessed his love for herion, pills and other women. I supported him and he used my money to whore around, when he was home he was sick and always quick to tell me how I was stupid, ugly, fat and a whore. I guess a guility conscience really does speak first. But still after all these years I still remember how I would try to convience myself that it was my fault, because I didn't love them enough, didn't care enough, couldn't help them enough. When really intruely they never really loved or cared about me enough to treat me the way I deserved to be treated. I don't regret what I have been through, at 23 I have been through alot, but its how I know that I am strong, smart, beautiful and funny. Its how I know that know matter what they said it was lies and none of it was true, its how I know that good men exsist. They were life changing experiences that taught never to be a door mat, never let someone knock you down and convience you your worthless, never let someone strip you of every part of who you are. Someone who loves and cares about you will never try to do any of those things bc they will accept you, your past, your present and your future for what is, your life and they will be glad to be a part of it. David doesn't make me who I am, but he is the contribution to what makes our relationship great and I am thankful that he was my best friend when Cole destroyed everything I was, he saw the hurt but he helped me heal. There are great men out there and when they find us you best believe they know they're the lucky ones to have such strong women.
          True, it's not about time it's about how much you let/how it affects you I suppose. I was in a nasty relationship nearly 18 years ago, I still think back to it now and then but it doesn't affect me anywhere near the same as it did 17 years ago because time heals in some respects, it doesn't take the memories away but the further away you are sometimes the easier it gets to come to terms with it.

          There are great men and women out there and it saddens me when I come across the "all men are *****" line, well no sorry they're not, my son is not, my bf is not and my dad was not to state some facts.

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          • Watching a cheesy talk show and I can't get over how similar this couple is to my relationship (well, I wouldn't really call it a relationship, he's been at his friend's house but we've been trying to talk a little). It's a woman who's saying her boyfriend is verbally abusive and rude and he says she's always pointing out things he does wrong. That's exactly what Joe always said about me. She stays with him because she sees a side of him that no one else does and also because she doesn't want to be alone. They both have really troubled pasts and what they've been through has really influenced the way they treat each other. So basically they're going to stay away from each other for 90 days, he's going to get professional help, and they're going to try to work things out. It makes me really wish Joe could get help. I feel really silly for watching this but wow, this is so similar it's scary!

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            • It's funny how sometimes you just need to stand back from things to really let yourself think things through, even though you know that if you saw someone in the same situation you'd know exactly what to say to them!

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              • Well, I let him come back because I'm stupid. I made one little complaint about money and apparently I was taking a stab at him, and he blew up. And he thinks any kind of response by me is egging him on, "trying to get a reaction," etc. So he ended up grabbing water bottles out of my hand and throwing them, slamming my door into my wall and making a hole in the wall (first damage he's done to the new place, awesome), dumping my laundry all over the floor, etc. Every time I opened my mouth he did something else like that. He tries to tell me I make him do that crap and I'm trying to tell him it's up to HIM to control it, not me which just pisses him off more. Ugh what a loser, he left walking in the snow and I do not even care. Absolutely cannot stand him. Grown adults can control themselves. No one makes anyone act like that.

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                • That sounds horrible - I assume that this is the last time you will let him come back? And I hope the damage to the wall isn't too bad (or expensive - I assume you will have to pay someone to fix it). Were you injured when he grabbed the water bottles?

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                  • Thanks. I'm definitely not letting him come back or anywhere near me after this. I wasn't hurt but he did end up pushing me into the bedroom and I rolled back onto the bed and fell off (which he said I did on purpose to be dramatic). I just feel like such an idiot.

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                    • Glad you aren't hurt - and no you aren't an idiot (well, unless you let him back...). I assume things like locks are OK (i.e. you have the only keys)?

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                      • Yeah, I don't think he'd come back anyway. The only reason he came back before was because we were talking and I thought we could try things again. Wrong! This time was really eye opening... I always felt thankful he at least wasn't physically abusive but the verbal abuse/throwing my things around was getting worse and I knew it was only just a matter of time before it got physical. Then he pushed me and made me fall and that finally made me realize I need to stay away from him.

                        Thinking back on it I feel bad because I wouldn't shut up and drop everything to let him cool down but I just couldn't shut my mouth and reward him for that behavior.
                        Last edited by Coraz0ndeOro; 02-01-2013, 11:56 AM.

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                        • Originally posted by Coraz0ndeOro View Post
                          Thanks. I'm definitely not letting him come back or anywhere near me after this. I wasn't hurt but he did end up pushing me into the bedroom and I rolled back onto the bed and fell off (which he said I did on purpose to be dramatic). I just feel like such an idiot.
                          Don't, just know you've learned from it. Like I said before this is classic domestic violence and how it escalates into getting put into hospital or worse, it's very clear all it will do in this case is get worse, never better. Stick to your word and keep him the hell away from you, if he comes over ask him to leave through the door if he doesn't then just ring the police, explain all your history and it should be on file that you have a DV issue with him, for some that tends to keep them away.

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                          • Agree with Hazel here. If necessary, you could also look at getting an injunction restricting him from coming near to you or your home in future.

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                            • Can't believe I've been with Devon for nearly 7 months already, time has literally flown by. So much has changed, I'm a much better person. I've not self harmed in over a year, my eating is back to normal and I've finally found someone who supports me when I need it the most.

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                              • Originally posted by phillipalouise View Post
                                Can't believe I've been with Devon for nearly 7 months already, time has literally flown by. So much has changed, I'm a much better person. I've not self harmed in over a year, my eating is back to normal and I've finally found someone who supports me when I need it the most.
                                Happy for you Phillipa, it's nice how one person can change things for the better so much.

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