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  • See no offence, but I'd tell my boyfriend where to shove it if he said I had to keep my life on hold and not get a job just to keep my time free to see him.

    Then again I grew up with no money and didn't have any help with rent etc so to me a job was an essential not just a nice extra, which probably gives it different emphasis.

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    • Originally posted by Youki-Hi View Post
      See no offence, but I'd tell my boyfriend where to shove it if he said I had to keep my life on hold and not get a job just to keep my time free to see him.

      Then again I grew up with no money and didn't have any help with rent etc so to me a job was an essential not just a nice extra, which probably gives it different emphasis.
      Which is exactly why i would never dream of telling him that i'd rather he didnt have a job, and i'd expect the same back.
      He was never really rich or anything, so the money he as now should be better than at home so its not like his going without anything.
      Some things are just more important than money.

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      • I see what you mean Steph, I'd be really upset if Chris took on more hours at work and had less time to see me than he does now.

        With me and him its like a LDR but worse in a way. Before he went to uni, I saw him 5 days a week in school and 6 days a week out of school, but now I'm lucky to see him once or twice a week, a lot better than once a month yes but really difficult nonetheless, its really hard though because its not like he lives far away (2 - 3 miles) but our schedules totally clash now and to make matters worse, we barely communicate on the days we don't see each other Boys are such trouble!

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        • I just got a little upset at Symon for taking on another umpiring gig TONIGHT when we were meant to spend the night together. We live together yet I rarely see him these days due to his work and umpiring nights. I know its money but i can't help but feel a little lonely and rejected.

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          • Me and Joe's longest lasting 'couple friends' broke up today, which basically leaves us with no couple friends. Its just sad, cos not only were they very handy mates (he talked to him, while I hung out with her!) they were a great couple too.

            But, I do have to give him props, he came straight out and told her he just didnt love her in the right way anymore, which is much better than staying together and treating her badly, or stringing it out.

            However, me and Joe, 4 and a half years, still like giggly schoolkids together! Bringing him to the Brighton meet this weekend. He didnt have much money growing up so he's never travelled much and it will be his first time there since he was about 3! Can't wait to show him round!

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            • Originally posted by Benny B View Post
              My most recent relationship was a combo of in person and long distance, met my Finnish girlfriend while she was here on a working holiday visa and we were together for 19 months before she had to go home. That was August last year.

              Heaps of shit has happened between then and now...including me going there for three months to check out the place and living and working prospects for me while she finished her studies. In the end, she is there, I'm here and we both hate it because we're both still super in love with each other but unfortunately there's no practical way around it. I'm unprepared (for good reasons) to give up my life and career here and she can't give up her study there at the moment...it's a shitty position to be in :( We are pretty much living separate lives kinda thing and open to seeing other people but staying in touch until one or the other of us can budge on living situation in a year down the track and seeing where we are then. Chances are we'll be at different stages or have changed...I know this break up has changed me heaps already...but you never know.

              Are there prospects for the OP and his/her partner on this issue to be together in the future? Or is it always going to be long distance? And how long? Sorry, I can't really track down where this issue originally came up in this thread.

              If you were so much in love, how could you be willing to be in an open relationship... im sorry if that comes out shitty or w/e but.... to me that dosnt mean love, your willing to share ur partner with somone else.

              I really dont get how someone can go into a relationship and still want to see other ppl, also i really dont get how the other person can feel comfortable knowing that their 'partner' is off out humpin away with whoever they fancy at the time... i mean how would that ever come across as love? 'yeah i love you baby, but tonight im gonna be bouncin up an down on another mans c*ck so im gonna go get myself ready, catch u in the morning?'

              Maybe someone whos been there should explain to me how this works....?


              I suppose it would be easier for me to understand if i could seperate sex from love, im an old fashioned kinda girl in that sense... the thought of my partner going with another woman whilst being with me is just wrong an dosnt compute.

              Long distance relationships can work... but it depends on the ppl involved i suppose.

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              • It's not something I'd be able to do either dawn but everyone's different aren't they so I guess it just works for some people. I don't think it's fair to say it's not love though

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                • Originally posted by tacosareyummeh View Post
                  WARNING: Filled with mushy gushy content. Feel free to ignore.

                  Ah, I love my man soo much. <3
                  He stayed over last night (and will be until Friday at least) and it was just so awesome.
                  Almost every time he does, we lay on the futon, talk, laugh, and cuddle for at least an hour after we said we'd go to bed.
                  It just makes me really happy to know that we're able to be like that.
                  I feel like a lot of relationships are just dead, not much to say to each other, and not best friends the way that me and Brandon are.
                  I can't really imagine being without him now.
                  All the things he was saying..just make me smile so much.
                  Like, he was blowing on my neck and sometimes I'm really ticklish there so I was laughing like a maniac and I apologized for how ridiculous I sounded, to which he responded, "But it's so cute, it reminds me of a little kid."
                  And we just kissed repeatedly for a few minutes straight like we like to do.
                  He also at one point said, "I regret to inform you..that I'm in love with you." To which I said, "And you regret this why?" He said, "Because now you can't get rid of me." Which in a way made me smile, because I want him to stick around, for a long time.
                  He also said how he's really glad to have me in his life.
                  It was just a really nice night, I love when he lays on me and kisses me everywhere.
                  *squees all over the place*



                  Aww, bless

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                  • Originally posted by Kaitey (: View Post
                    With me and him its like a LDR but worse in a way. Before he went to uni, I saw him 5 days a week in school and 6 days a week out of school, but now I'm lucky to see him once or twice a week, a lot better than once a month yes but really difficult nonetheless, its really hard though because its not like he lives far away (2 - 3 miles) but our schedules totally clash now and to make matters worse, we barely communicate on the days we don't see each other Boys are such trouble!
                    That is definitely not worse than LD. When you see him do you have to spend hours on a bus then an hour on a train? Often in tears on the way back because you don't know when you'll see him next? I would LOVE to see my boyfriend once a week, I'd love to reliably see him once, sometimes twice a fortnight. And I'd love it if he was only a couple of miles away so there wasn't all the planning and liaison with parents and hours on transport.
                    Sorry if it sounds harsh, I realise it is difficult for you, but saying it's worse than LD is kinda sucky for all of us who do have it worse.

                    And Dawn, while I couldn't do it while I was in love with someone else I have had non love sex, and while it wasn't as good it was ok. And it certainly made my year and a half single a bit more interesting. But I do agree if I was in love with someone I'd feel like I was betraying them.

                    Miharu, that's sucky. I'm so glad you and Jo are happy though.

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                    • Originally posted by cherryd69 View Post
                      If you were so much in love, how could you be willing to be in an open relationship... im sorry if that comes out shitty or w/e but.... to me that dosnt mean love, your willing to share ur partner with somone else.

                      I really dont get how someone can go into a relationship and still want to see other ppl, also i really dont get how the other person can feel comfortable knowing that their 'partner' is off out humpin away with whoever they fancy at the time... i mean how would that ever come across as love? 'yeah i love you baby, but tonight im gonna be bouncin up an down on another mans c*ck so im gonna go get myself ready, catch u in the morning?'
                      Its entirely up to them and its unfair to say a person can't be in love if their having sex with another!

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                      • Exactly, every relationship is different and what might not work for some may do for others.

                        If that's your personal opinion then that's fine, have your relationship by your standards but other couples can do what they want.

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                        • Originally posted by Youki-Hi View Post
                          That is definitely not worse than LD. When you see him do you have to spend hours on a bus then an hour on a train? Often in tears on the way back because you don't know when you'll see him next? I would LOVE to see my boyfriend once a week, I'd love to reliably see him once, sometimes twice a fortnight. And I'd love it if he was only a couple of miles away so there wasn't all the planning and liaison with parents and hours on transport.
                          Sorry if it sounds harsh, I realise it is difficult for you, but saying it's worse than LD is kinda sucky for all of us who do have it worse.
                          100% agree. I travel for an hour and a half-ish to see my boyfriend, usually get a bus and two trains to get there. I see him roughly every two weeks, but sometimes it's been more like a whole month before seeing him again.

                          If you're 2-3 miles away you could easily pop round for a spontaneous evening visit and it'd be cheap, easy and worthwhile. When I go see Ash I have to plan it in advance and make sure it's doable. It's a bit easier for me now because I don't have a weekend job, but when I did and I was working until 8 on Friday, getting to York at midnight and going back home on Saturday night to work the following Sunday just so I could have one day with my man it was a nightmare.

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                          • Thing is, if you are only 10 miles away, but say like I was with my ex, could barely see her as my shifts were when she was free, and whenever I was free, she was in uni or busy with research work, its intensely frustrating. You could say "oh just pop round", but if you'd be met by "why are you here, I have a 4000 word dissertation to do by the end of the week and I'm already struggling, leave me alone", then spontanaiety aint the name of the game.

                            I personally think its no different being long distance but matching schedules, to short distance but entirely different timeframes. I did the latter, and am currently doing the former, and it feels no worse or better when I can't see Caz due to the distance, than when I couldn't see my ex due to being on a 12 hour shift on a Saturday night. At the end of the day, the distance doesn't matter, it's seeing them that matters, so if you can only see them the same amount of time, regardless of distance, what difference does it make if its on the same bus route?

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                            • That's half the point though, once maybe twice a week is loads in terms of LD.

                              And I think it makes a big difference, having done both with Simon, when he was doing his dissertation and I had rehearsals we only saw each other roughly once a week. And it's much harder when you're travelling about 4 1/2 hours each way. It disrupts your whole weekend and there's a big psychological difference.

                              Although I guess the psychological difference is very individual.

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                              • Stuh, I know what you're saying but even if the other half and a ton of work to do, you could still spend the night together and toddle off to college/work/uni the next morning and not be going far out of your way.

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