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  • Originally posted by gandy View Post
    i still take it i can talk about friends in here yus? its still a type of relationship i guess

    well in the past 2 or 3 weeks ive lernt i cant trust 2 other people, with makes 3, witch in my books is bloody good, one of them i didnt evan know we were more than just "that person from the interweb" so she will get a huge gandyandy hug tomorrow, and the other i hadnt seen in ages, but we still get on really well, and was the lucky one to see my nads bening cut open XD

    other than that im quite happy where i am atm
    can or cant ?

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    • ahhh opss can

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      • aww

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        • i know, i know but i do

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          • Hmm....experiences from people who have stayed friends with ex's of a year+ please?

            Me and Danielle were together for 3 years, and we both want to be friends, but I dont know what the chances are. I mean I'm still so into her, so I know we cant be particularly close until I'm sorted in my head, but yeh I just wanted to know what people think.

            I mean we both really dont want to waste it all, but I cant help but think all that will happen is that I invest myself in her as a friend, only to eventually have to cut each other out due to new partners. I know I'm not secure enough generally to go out with someone who's really good friends with an Ex who they were totally in love with for 3 years, and the chances are any future partner wouldnt be that comfortable with it either.

            It just seems to me like its not going to work, even though I really want it to.

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            • In my experience, it only seems to work if you don't see the person for a while. Or you only see them in a group. But being friends and doing stuff one on one, right after the breakup of a long relationship, never seems to work out.

              You might want to give it some time, instead of jumping into the friend thing right away.

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              • I had my first relationship evar ! this year. What a weird experience that was.

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                • Originally posted by HELLS_MoNkEy View Post
                  Hmm....experiences from people who have stayed friends with ex's of a year+ please?

                  Me and Danielle were together for 3 years, and we both want to be friends, but I dont know what the chances are. I mean I'm still so into her, so I know we cant be particularly close until I'm sorted in my head, but yeh I just wanted to know what people think.

                  I mean we both really dont want to waste it all, but I cant help but think all that will happen is that I invest myself in her as a friend, only to eventually have to cut each other out due to new partners. I know I'm not secure enough generally to go out with someone who's really good friends with an Ex who they were totally in love with for 3 years, and the chances are any future partner wouldnt be that comfortable with it either.

                  It just seems to me like its not going to work, even though I really want it to.
                  Me and Brian tried to be friends after all our break-ups. We just ended up hooking up at parties and declaring undying love for each other every month or so. We didn't talk for well over a year after the last time and we've just started talking again and we're both in relationships and it's really working.

                  So yeah...it can work, but you need a LOT of space. If you're both over each other then it won't make it weird. If you're not then it'll be incredibly difficult.

                  Well my love life is still rocky but a lot better. He does love me, he just thinks we need to slow down a bit and see each other less. He doesn't quite get why that upset me...and to be honest it probably shouldn't have. I know he just needs some space, it just really hurts to be told "yeah I don't want to see as much of you as you want to see of me." He took me out for a lovely meal though.
                  Last edited by Youki-Hi; 11-01-2008, 01:41 PM.

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                  • what's an easy meal to cook? my boyfriend failed his driving test and is pretty down about it so i thought i'd be cute and do something nice for him.

                    i'm thinking mac n cheese?

                    or take away lolololol

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                    • Originally posted by ciderxwithxrosie View Post
                      what's an easy meal to cook? my boyfriend failed his driving test and is pretty down about it so i thought i'd be cute and do something nice for him.

                      i'm thinking mac n cheese?

                      or take away lolololol
                      If he likes curry, whip him up one, it's reet easy. Boil some rice for 20 minutes, whilst you're doing that, cook some chicken, pour in the sauce when it's nice and white all over, then stir until the rice is cooked. Brilliant!

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                      • Originally posted by HELLS_MoNkEy View Post
                        Hmm....experiences from people who have stayed friends with ex's of a year+ please?

                        Me and Danielle were together for 3 years, and we both want to be friends, but I dont know what the chances are. I mean I'm still so into her, so I know we cant be particularly close until I'm sorted in my head, but yeh I just wanted to know what people think.

                        I mean we both really dont want to waste it all, but I cant help but think all that will happen is that I invest myself in her as a friend, only to eventually have to cut each other out due to new partners. I know I'm not secure enough generally to go out with someone who's really good friends with an Ex who they were totally in love with for 3 years, and the chances are any future partner wouldnt be that comfortable with it either.

                        It just seems to me like its not going to work, even though I really want it to.
                        I started talking to my first boyfriend again this year, about 2 years after breaking up =/ Partly because our friendship groups just completely split after we broke up and I just never got the chance once I was eventually over him enough to want to talk to him again. I'm glad we're friends again now, and it's really nice in a way to have a friend that knows you inside out. Thankfully Jake isn't bothered by it at all - he is really laid back though, not a jealous person at all in general, but he knows he has nothing to worry about and he knows all the details of our break up and that there's no way in hell I still feel anything for him, haha. Plus, I'd already been with Jake for about a year when me and the ex started talking again so I guess he was more secure in our relationship.

                        If I was close friends with my ex from the start it might have been different - I've been out with someone who stayed best friends with their ex girlfriend of a year and a half, they didn't have a 'break' or anything, just went straight from relationship to 'best friends'. I constantly felt second best and was very jealous - he'd stay at her house more than mine and just generally paid her more attention. I don't think he ever got over her properly because they never had time apart, and that's why he broke up with me in the end.

                        I think you need to give it a lot of time and don't try and force anything. It's definitely possible, and hopefully it won't be a problem in future relationships. Don't put too much hope into it I guess, just let things happen. Like I said, it took 2 years for me but it's fine now and I think we make much better friends than a couple I just threw myself into other things, made myself go out and make new friends and get over it, and now we've both 'matured' a lot and it's so much more comfortable than it would've been trying to be friends a year earlier.

                        Sorry, this was probably a long and mostly irrelevant post

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                        • Originally posted by HELLS_MoNkEy View Post
                          Hmm....experiences from people who have stayed friends with ex's of a year+ please?

                          Me and Danielle were together for 3 years, and we both want to be friends, but I dont know what the chances are. I mean I'm still so into her, so I know we cant be particularly close until I'm sorted in my head, but yeh I just wanted to know what people think.

                          I mean we both really dont want to waste it all, but I cant help but think all that will happen is that I invest myself in her as a friend, only to eventually have to cut each other out due to new partners. I know I'm not secure enough generally to go out with someone who's really good friends with an Ex who they were totally in love with for 3 years, and the chances are any future partner wouldnt be that comfortable with it either.

                          It just seems to me like its not going to work, even though I really want it to.
                          i came close to a year with carlu

                          need i have to say any more about what happoned? XD

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                          • Yes Gandy... but we all know (unfortunately) that there was a lot of unsavory behaviour involved with what happened between you and Carlu.

                            Now to answer Tom's question. I dated my ex for 3 years and we lived together for almost 2 of those years. We have remained friends. We talk on msn and hang out when I'm in my hometown. I personally feel that because our relationship ended somewhat amicably we are still able to be friends. I think only time will tell whether you can have a platonic relationship with her. I think it depends entirely on the circumstances of your break up and the feelings you both have attached to those experiences.

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                            • I've made up with my boyfriend. My mum randomly got me a ticket to Manchester, as she didn't know the full story between me and my other half. So thought i'd take up the opportunity to talk to him, for closure. But after the first night, we ended up making up and everything. I think the distance had just got to us.
                              So yeah, im staying at his (Well my house too, seeing as i havent found a new tenant for my room). Then we'll be going back to mine, in London, to see a fireworks show.

                              But yeah, I'm happy. It'll be 16 months soon. ^_^

                              ----

                              And Tom, I know we don't know each other, but I've seen a few posts on here before, about you and Danielle, and I always found it sweet, so Im really sorry to hear what has happened. :(
                              I wish I could give you some good advice, but Ive only ever been in one relationship, which is my current one.
                              We've had a few breaks, but they never last.

                              I don't know what to say to make you feel any better, as I know it's like hell when you're not with the one you love. But I wish luck, and hope everything ends up ok.

                              ~ "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."

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                              • Squee, that's good to hear Pat and I love that quote too ^^
                                Tom, I haven't really got any experience with being friends again with ex's, as they've all been really quite horrible, I still find I need a lot of time before I'd even consider talking to them again-definitely give yourself some space like others have said. Hope that helps.

                                Was gonna post this in best part about today thread but hey-fireworks with Rhi, it's just one of those nice couple-y things you want to see yourselves doing for years to come, and the snuggles after weren't bad either <3

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