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  • Oh I can be stubborn too you know. VERY stubborn.

    Wassup Helen?

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    • My fella's best friend is a lass, this I have no problem with, seriously none at all. But I know if push comes to shove he'd put her friendship over the relationship with me. Maybe he wouldn't realize he was doing it, but he would. I also don't know how much you know about our relationship, but we broke up in May because he wasn't giving much attention to the relationship and we've only recently got back together.

      Well, this lass has got some problems, mainly her useless boyfriend that seems to like to beat her up, be very nasty about the abortion he forced her to have and just mess her about generally.

      Yesterday, he stamped on her foot, to the point that tonight she finally went to hospital because it was that swollen. I had my fella over msn telling me he was crying down the phone while talking to her because she was going on about wanting to kill herself. That, I guess is fair enough, but when he starts telling me that he wouldn't know what to do with out, a part of him would be missing, and he loves her, I'm starting to feel a bit blurgh. I know that he loves her as a sister but when we have so many issues in our relationship, I just don't really want to here tht. \he's off to see her, if he can, at the weekend. Tis a it bitter sweet because last weekend he was supposed to spend with me and I got him maybe 3 hours on the Sunday night.. brings back a lot of the old fears.

      I don't mind thing to him about it, I work with depressed people so I can deal with what he's saying, and I understand why he feels the way he does, I just need to be told I'm not wrong to feel the way I do.

      Am I?
      Last edited by KieraMoon; 08-28-2008, 12:08 AM.

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      • Heh, Nefarious is the name of Shannon's daughter is it not? Shame she shares it with a feline!

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        • Originally posted by KieraMoon View Post
          My fella's best friend is a lass, this I have no problem with, seriously none at all. But I know if push comes to shove he'd put her friendship over the relationship with me. Maybe he wouldn't realize he was doing it, but he would. I also don't know how much you know about our relationship, but we broke up in May because he wasn't giving much attention to the relationship and we've only recently got back together.

          Well, this lass has got some problems, mainly her useless boyfriend that seems to like to beat her up, be very nasty about the abortion he forced her to have and just mess her about generally.

          Yesterday, he stamped on her foot, to the point that tonight she finally went to hospital because it was that swollen. I had my fella over msn telling me he was crying down the phone while talking to her because she was going on about wanting to kill herself. That, I guess is fair enough, but when he starts telling me that he wouldn't know what to do with out her, a part of him would be missing, and he loves her, I'm starting to feel a bit blurgh. I know that he loves her as a sister but when we have so many issues in our relationship, I just don't really want to here that.

          I don't mind talking to him about it, I work with depressed people so I can deal with what he's saying, and I understand why he feels the way he does, I just need to be told I'm not wrong to feel the way I do.

          Am I?
          Well she's obviously having a hard time and being best friends, of course he's going to be there for her. It's dos I'm sure you'll agree. But maybe you could mention it to him that you feel he's slightly putting the friendship above relationship. He might not realise he's doing it but just tell him how you feel and I'm sre, if he truly cares he'll do his best.

          But remember it's you he wants, not his best friend.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by KieraMoon View Post
            My fella's best friend is a lass, this I have no problem with, seriously none at all. But I know if push comes to shove he'd put her friendship over the relationship with me. Maybe he wouldn't realize he was doing it, but he would. I also don't know how much you know about our relationship, but we broke up in May because he wasn't giving much attention to the relationship and we've only recently got back together.

            Well, this lass has got some problems, mainly her useless boyfriend that seems to like to beat her up, be very nasty about the abortion he forced her to have and just mess her about generally.

            Yesterday, he stamped on her foot, to the point that tonight she finally went to hospital because it was that swollen. I had my fella over msn telling me he was crying down the phone while talking to her because she was going on about wanting to kill herself. That, I guess is fair enough, but when he starts telling me that he wouldn't know what to do with out, a part of him would be missing, and he loves her, I'm starting to feel a bit blurgh. I know that he loves her as a sister but when we have so many issues in our relationship, I just don't really want to here tht. \he's off to see her, if he can, at the weekend. Tis a it bitter sweet because last weekend he was supposed to spend with me and I got him maybe 3 hours on the Sunday night.. brings back a lot of the old fears.

            I don't mind thing to him about it, I work with depressed people so I can deal with what he's saying, and I understand why he feels the way he does, I just need to be told I'm not wrong to feel the way I do.

            Am I?
            you're not wrong. but i understand where you're boyfriend is coming from. my best friend is a guy, hes been a part of my life for nearly 7 years, and if he was in the same state as her i'd choose being with him over being with my boyfriend

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            • I know what you're saying hun, and I agree. And I'm really happy that he can talk to me about it. He rang me up as soon as he'd finished talking to her. I just don't really know what to say. I go clinical on him because like I said, I work with depressed people.

              I used to say to my friends before that I was the sex and she was the friend. In some ways it's true. I know if he could he'd move up to be nearer her (she lives in Newcastle, he lives in Chesterfield and me in Lincoln).

              I'm not making much sense, it's just because of what happened at the weekend (another long story) it's just made me so unsure of everything.

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              • Originally posted by catxXx View Post
                Heh, Nefarious is the name of Shannon's daughter is it not? Shame she shares it with a feline!
                I got the idea for the name from her .

                And Helen, that totally sucks but there'll be a reason he's with you and not with her. If he loved her that much he'd be with her. He's probably just going through a tough time emotionally because of seeing his friend get hurt and treated so badly and possibly feels powerless to help. Talking to him about how you feel could help and explain to him that you feel like he's putting her before you in a way you don't feel comfortable with. Hope you're ok.

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                • Originally posted by trivium11 View Post
                  Oh I can be stubborn too you know. VERY stubborn.

                  Wassup Helen?
                  I'm the kind of person that if you said you'd divorce me I'd show you the door :P

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                  • Originally posted by starless_dark View Post
                    I got the idea for the name from her .

                    And Helen, that totally sucks but there'll be a reason he's with you and not with her. If he loved her that much he'd be with her. He's probably just going through a tough time emotionally because of seeing his friend get hurt and treated so badly and possibly feels powerless to help. Talking to him about how you feel could help and explain to him that you feel like he's putting her before you in a way you don't feel comfortable with. Hope you're ok.
                    Thanks hun. If we had a normal relationship I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem, but just because I'm so scared of him treating me badly like he did before. He didn't so it on purpose, but he just has no idea of how to be in a relationship and he'd a lot going on.

                    Now I've got to decide do I see it through, or give it up as a bad job. I got really hurt last time, proper hurt. I'm just so scared.

                    Comment


                    • If you're constantly scared about being hurt, you've got to ask yourself if it's worth it. Would you rather be unhappy taking a chance and risking heartache or breaking free and although it feels quite shit being single at first, at least you won't have to worry about the emotional crap, you can just go out and have fun!

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                      • I actually like being single, and while it was painful breaking up with him last time I felt much better on my own.

                        But he has some strange power over me. it took me over a month and a lot of patients before I ended it last time. My friends got so fed up with me! I was constantly crying and miserable yet wouldn't end it! If you go back a few million posts on here you'll see gash ad Morphie telling me the same!

                        While being single would be so much easier, and yes living in fear isn't that great, I just can't end it. in my mind I have to have a really good reason, which is why he has to do something awful before I will. I should of done Sunday, I had the chance but instead of saying 'No, you've broken my heart and ruined my weekend' I'm like 'yea, I'll see you in an hour'

                        I love him.

                        Argh.
                        Last edited by KieraMoon; 08-28-2008, 02:03 AM.

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                        • Originally posted by trivium11 View Post
                          I want kids. 2 to be exact their names shall be:

                          2 boys:
                          Mickael
                          Alex

                          2 girls:

                          Claire
                          Alex

                          boy and girl:

                          Mickael
                          Alex

                          Either way one of my kids will be named after either Alex Webster or Mick Thompson. My heroes
                          id like only 1 little sh*t really

                          if its a girl samantha after my late best friend

                          and if its a boy sidney after sid wilson

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                          • im calling all my children jeff.... i just need to register the births before the boyf gets there..... because he wont let me.

                            (his surname is buckley)

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                            • Originally posted by KieraMoon View Post
                              I actually like being single, and while it was painful breaking up with him last time I felt much better on my own.

                              But he has some strange power over me. it took me over a month and a lot of patients before I ended it last time. My friends got so fed up with me! I was constantly crying and miserable yet wouldn't end it! If you go back a few million posts on here you'll see gash ad Morphie telling me the same!

                              While being single would be so much easier, and yes living in fear isn't that great, I just can't end it. in my mind I have to have a really good reason, which is why he has to do something awful before I will. I should of done Sunday, I had the chance but instead of saying 'No, you've broken my heart and ruined my weekend' I'm like 'yea, I'll see you in an hour'

                              I love him.

                              Argh.
                              I'm going to say you need to break up with him. I had this with my ex and know exactly how you feel, whenever he wanted to get back together, there I was perfectly happy to do so even though I knew in the back of my mind that I was fine without him, until he texted/messaged whatever.

                              A relationship isn't worth having if you are constantly destressed about what and when he is going to hurt you intentionally or not. If you need a reason the above is the right reason, living like that doesn't give you any form of stability at all and that's not what you need. It is obviously your choice and we are here for you to rant, but I think for your own sake it's time to let him go, it's upsetting and it takes time, but you know for yourself that it can work without him, you seem really happy being single and an incredibly strong person!

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                              • what can you do when the spark is gone? ive been with my partner for 7 years, weve lived together for 5 and i dunno, i love him and i want to be with him but like before i moved in with him i used to get a fluttery feeling in my tummy when he cuddled/kissed me and i could just spend hours snuggled up watching tv with him and when i thought about him i would get a big smile on my face and get a little shiver, how do i get that back?

                                we live and work together, we run our own business so getting another job is not an option and i dont want to have to move out

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